i DON'T look like a boy!!! i am NOT a boy!!

*faints* i shldn't have come church today. shld have did what i told jo i'd do. hide my face in a paper bag and maybe just bang against the wall. *sighs*

ok la. fine. i may look like a boy, but i'm not a boy!! i'm a girl!! i'm a straight girl!! haiz. i've been repeating that like how many thousand times today in church..i think i can just record it down and play it over and over again. ya. esp with those step team ppl coming back to sg..ahh!! y didn't they stay in jogja longer??? after training, went home with jon, brian, melvin, weeheong, jiajia, lebbillie, lynn and of coz my sis. and they were like suaning me throughout the journey la. thank God i don't stay at amk. if i were in amk cell, i'd self-ground for like 2 months or so before my hair grows long enough to make me look like a girl. *faints*

yups. act today began with a shock. when i woke up my mom told me my grand aunt just passed away at 11 the night before. which was like somewhat after we left the hosp. it's like so sudden. just visited her one time and she just went like that. but then i didn't feel as sad as ytd when i saw her. ya. kinda peaceful tho. coz i know she'll be in heaven with Jesus. that's one reason.

but during worship in svc, i somehow felt real sad. it's like i really wanted to just break down and ask God "why?" tho all these happened are not exactly immediately related to me, but ya they are ppl i care, ppl i love. it's only feb and 2 ppl are already gone from my life. it's like so difficult to accept. but ya, reality checking here, it did happened. just want to thank lynn aka sotong aka squid aka calamari (: thanks alot girl! i think w/o u to check on me i think, haha, God knows what will happen to me (: