lalalalalala~

heehees...

haha. i don't know know why i'm so happy today. just super happy. haha!! no! not that rena isn't in singapore now..lols...haha!! ya. but i'm like v happy today. i'm on hyper mode today. haa... *faints*

well...jo didn't come church today coz she wasn't feeling well. then she cldn't go pasir ris park with us.had family day there. was quite alright. i think i smell of bbq now lo. *sighs*

well. for the past few days of not blogging, i've been contemplating and regretting about the choices i've made. real stupid to do that kind of thing la, considering the fact that i used to do that and was really redundant and all. haha. yea. i've been thinking about the school i've chosen, the stream, the course, the subjects, the everything. did i really make a right choice? is this really what God wants me in? of coz i can't deny the fact that God did answer my prayer of having all my friends in the same sch and if it did happened, it wld be God's will for me to be in jc/poly. turned out we were all posted to sa. well, most and rena's appeal was successful. i really did pray super hard man. coz i wanted to go step team. i didn't know if i shld go step team or go 1st 3 months.

God did answer. but i'm having second thots now. is this really the class God wants me to be in? is this really the kind of environment He wants me to be in? or does He wants me to change this environment? does He want me to make an impact in my class?

honestly, i can't fit in s14. during tutorials with my class i'm either spacing out, sleeping or doing tutorials. class is always quiet. i miss the noise we make in 4/5. all my life i've almost nv been to a quiet class. my class is always known for making noise that u can hear us from the ground floor. *sigh* is this really what God wants me in?

it may seem only like "oh, jc life's ending in a yrs' time already! why bother?" win was asking me what course i wanna go for in the uni. of coz i did think about what i want to do, but i guess no one really did ask me the qn in that manner. should i really do engineering? i like math. i like physics. but i don't like the ppl. if what turns out in the uni is exactly the pattern of the double math ppl i'm gonna face, i'll rather study arts. seriously.

why must all double math ppl behave in that manner? why must they have that kind of air around them that puts ppl off and not even wanting to talk to them? i realised that scholars nv do mix ard with us singaporeans. is it our fault? yes, maybe it is our fault. we aren't good hosts. the language barrier?

i just think that scholars just don't like to be with us. i can be with one scholar and stick to her but the feeling wld be different with a singaporean. is it just me, judging them and labelling them? or is it a world-known fact? i don't treat foreigners differently. foreigners are friendly too. so what's the big difference from them being scholars and foreigners? they are foreigners too, only smarter, able to get a scholarship.

my point here, is that, i don't see why scholars are like that. it's not fun having pe anymore with scholars. i miss s31's pe. i miss the team spirit and that kind of atmosphere.

it's like someone's taking something from my life. i feel some parts are missing and i can't feel them anymore.