the tears in the rain.

today i went to my aunt's house in the afternoon to tutor my cousin math. yups. my cousin and i are quite close coz we see each other in church too and coz of our age differences, we are closer compared to my other cousins. yups. it's like they are my own siblings like that. almost vomitted blood when teaching audrey. but oh wells. i don't teach her everyday, so i won't be losing alot of blood. hehs. then played guitar (: yea. nylon stringed. i prefer my metal stringed one. the effects are so much nicer tho..

today's wednesday. it's the fourth day i've been to my grand aunt's wake at amk. 2mr's the funeral and the cremation but i won't be going coz of the 'saints the festiva' band concert. yups. means today was the last day i'd be seeing my grand aunt. i don't know why but i just feel so sad. she already accepted Christ before she passed away and a christian funeral was done for her. it's like i can't be happier for her coz she's already with Jesus in heaven. but it just happened so sudden. just 1h i left the hospital and she was gone. no one expected her to just leave like that.

during the 4 days at the wake, i saw so many ppl. my mom's cousins, and their own cousins. it's like the whole of my mom's side turned up. my granny's siblings too. the whole extended family tree there at the wake. even tho the relationship is so distant, we are like so close. just like even tho my grand aunt was my mom's mom's sis-in-law, she's just like my own granny, even tho i only visit her like once a yr during chinese new yr. some ppl just can't imagine how an aunt can be so close to her neice, or how a grandaunt can be so close to her grand neice.

if the reason y God took away ppl from my life is due to Him giving me the gd things in life, i rather suffer myself.