sigh

so sian. think i'll write a lil informal today.

been so busy and dead tired these few days. think i'm really going to stop all work and just sleep and sleep and sleep till the cows come home. i'm like so drained like that. haiz. lynn say i can't use the word "hate" but i'm gonna use it anyhows. i hate... i can't say i hate jc life coz i love my friends. i can't say i hate my life coz i love it. so irritating. i can't even hate anything. -.-

sometimes it's not that i want things to turn out the way it turned out. sometimes it's just that everything's just piling on me and like i'm forced to make a decision there and then. im not gd at making decisions. and ya, i regret making most of them. but life has to go on. can't just regret and regret and go back.

i'd rather time not go back. i'm just happy and satisfied with what i have now. if i'm meant to lose you, or lose something important in my life, anything but God, i'll just let it be. i've got no more strength to carry on if i must.

lost
i feel lost when i'm with you
my mind goes wild
i can't go back to where i was
is this the feeling
i'm gonna get
everytime i look into your eyes
the deep feeling
bringing me to the past
present and future
the joy, pain
laughter and sadness
knowing what i shld have done
but i didn't do
didn't make a stand
to put all things in place
allowing all hurt to come
causing more trouble
is that the feeling i want
the feeling we want
to last our whole lives
mistakes forgiven
wrongs became right
but nothing changed
to see you once again
can only bring pain
not to me, to you only
but to everyone else

just smth that has been on my mind for a v long time.