i'm back!

p6 camp was gd. haha.

i think i'm enjoying myself at camps man. i think camps are just so fun. haha. it brings u away from everything else ur doing. it brings u out of ur busy life and makes u think better. yea. and the tonnings, games, chatting, laughing. that's what i enjoy most about camps. i think camps are just great. haha. gives u chances to mix around and know other ppl better. and meryl had been a wonderful help during the camp (=

yea. well, for every christian camp i go to, God will surely say smth. haha. not that He only speaks to me during camps, but it's more impactful if God speaks at camps. coz camps are meant to sort of change ur life and everything. but then again, it's a life-changing thing everytime God speaks. so ya. haha! what am i talking about.

neways, even tho the camp was mainly for the p6 and the ldrs were only there to like help out and get to know them, i guess God speaks to each and everyone of us as well. (= and it's real cool. hehs ya.

pris gave me a week to consider. i guess i didn't really put my heart into praying until friday coz of everything else that was happening. i was so busy during the week. stressed physically and mentally, emotionally. haha. wadeva. but God is good. (= was in the car with pris, ps rachel and george coz pris was sending them home. i was so awake on the first night. sleeping at 12am was like so early for me coz i'd been sleeping at 2+ each day for the past week. ya. pris' driving was gd. haha. i was a lil apprehensive in the car coz i was sitting infront. haha. yea. but oh well. i'm still alive. haha!

we were talking and pris asked me what was my decision. ps rachel said smth abt if the Holy Spirit is prompting to me to do it and i'm not means i'm being disobedient to God. then george began talking abt if everyone were like that, heaven wld be empty ya-da ya-da ya-da... haha. i told pris i'll tell her on sunday even tho it was alr 12am saturday and i hadn't make up my mind. i had faith that somehow God will speak to me. haha. somehow. i just knew. that lil voice told me. haha

k. went back to pga and did my qt while laureen was formatting the songs. i had so many to write for qt that day. haha. i guess God alr spoke then. and i wasn't sure. AGAIN. haha. so i told God to tell me more clearly that He wants me to do it knowing that He will surely tell me and i had to do it. haha. well, i needed a confirmation...

lo and behold, God spoke during the morning worship, even before annette started sharing. and He spoke again when annette shared. haha. so it meant a double confirmation to confirm the first confirmation. haha! k. i surrendered and i told myself i'd better tell pris before God strikes lightning on me... hahahaha... pris was surprised. ya. she knew God spoke. ahha. coz deadline was sunday. and now i've got a week to prepare? yea.

after all this while, i decided to give it up alr. like really give it up. this christmas might probably be the last time i'll be writing a card to you or giving u a gift. even tho i thot i'd made the right decision and thot it was the best thing that happened to me many years ago, i'm having doubts about it. probably it wasn't the best thing that happened to us. maybe i'm just thinking too much. but if it concerns my faith, if it concerns the very reason that i live, compromising wld mean taking my life away. serious. and i'm not the least happy about it.

i don't like stress. but it's times like this that my faith is strengthened and i feel more of God. i thank God that altho i'm stressed, i don't get my rash attacks anymore. (= yea. i seem to be allergic to everything right. haha...

k. lor sor enough alr. haha.