nice

so tired. wanted to wake up at 7 this morning to do homework and STUDY. but i cldn't wake up. was too tired. haha. ended up waking at 930. -.- but gd enough. had enough time to print the games for welcome party and do some stuff too.

slept on the way to church. haha. i can really sleep standing man. lol. i shld try mastering the skill to sleep while walking.

the first month of jc2 has been harsh on me. not allowing me to have enough rest and enough time to recover from forced-long-attention-spans during lectures. but thank God i managed to have enough rest everyday and enough sleep. (= really thank God coz that's like almost impossible if i didn't rush my tutorials in class. last yr i cldn't complete a math tutorial during sch hours but now i can. haha. i'm getting my o lvls spirit. lol! except now that i'm gonna have my a levels.

smth i did i wasn't sure whether what i did was right. but. it was the last resort. i really cldn't think of anything else.

wanted to skip youth svc 2mr. but i guess God is always able to encourage me and give me the strength each day. no one knows but everyday i'm making a decision. a very important decision. to follow my faith or to denounce the one and only God. everyday i think to myself: do i still believe in God? do i want to be a christian. and i'm wondering what is it that makes me so hard to continue running this race for Jesus. maybe because of the long-termed problems. made me lose faith that what God promised hadn't come to past. i know whatever God has promised, He will make it happen. i just have to wait. i'll never know what's going on in His mind either. haha...

sometimes i think of falling sick and staying in the hosp for a long time. just to take a long break.

sometimes the actions of others really affect your faith. i don't know how it happens but sometimes because of lil things i give up hope on God. but God's really amazing. everytime i want to give up, He gives me the strength to pull through. makes me think of all the songs. that He'll always be with me.

i just wish for someone to keep encouraging me. i know God has always been giving me encouragement. mebbe i'm asking for too much. but i'm thankful enough for someone to always tell me when i do wrong or my concept is wrong or sometimes i'm just being too naive. u knw, ur someone special. u dare to say things ppl do not dare and ur sincere about it. u'll always be that someone who makes me think out of the box (= silly mr papaya. hahahahaha(: