one day

one day, i'll give up mapling.
one day, i'll stop gaming.
one day, i'll give up on my comics.
one day, i'll throw away all my comics.

i realised that for pastors and leaders to lead such a 'successful' christian life, they do not game, nor do they read comics all day long. a pastor can never be a full-time gamer, else he wouldn't be a full-time preacher. similarly, i can't be a full-time christian when obviously i'm doing so much of things that aren't Godly, and neither are they edifying. so basically, i'm just wasting my time. but i've been through more than 18 years of my life and wasting time is one of the things i'm really good at.

maybe one day, i'll totally give up. in fact, a mindset is starting to creep in, changing certain things in my life, and certain perspectives. what i'd always thought was wasting time, has become a definite "useless and not edifying" and what i'd always thought to be good and edifying has become important.

truely, as people grow older, their thinking mature, not because it results from their age, but because they have no other choice.

sometimes i like to elimate all my other choices to force myself to a corner. it helps because the compelling force of "no other choice" pushes me to accomplish what i have to.

yet sometimes i force myself to think there's no other way when clearly there is another which i don't have the guts to take.

and now, i've to study because i've 'no other choice'.

haha.