so tired. so tired.

been running to and fro form church for the past 3 days. yea. not exactly running but just been going church v often this wk. yups. coz of the evangelism seminar thing. that all ldrs have to attend. yea. haha. ah well...i'll be going to church v frequently this yr, with all the evangelism stuff coming on, gd friday? easter sunday? yea. and many outreaches and welcome parties. yea. camps and retreats. aaahhhh..

i wasn't that busy initially, but now with all the events i've said, seems that i'm pretty bz afterall. yea. *sighs* i'm such a gd slacker. lols. with so much on my hands, i still feel so slack as tho i've nth to do, but in actual fact, i've so much to do. *sighs* yea. prob coz i've been telling ppl "oh im v free" haha coz by default i'm free, but with all the events coming up, i'm nt that free. yea..i've gotto get those kind of planner to list all the stuff i have to do. haha like carry a notice board with me whereever i go.

today, i had a taste of what cell life wld be when deb's not ard and when i have to lead a cell. i admit, i was scared at first. yea. but things got better. had jo to help out (: yea. like ice breaker and all that, played bingo. haha my fave game. the game i'd played after my prelims lols and which i got hated by rena for. haha!! (: yea. the gd times we had in 4/5 (: miss 4/5 loads. yea. then word. haha. i had no idea how the words came out. prob by God's grace (: yea. but thank God for george too. haha at least he was there to help out (: yea. else it'd be total crash and burn. nt in that sense but ya, kinda like it.

had 3+9 training today by cecelia. b4 that had to meet aaron. yea. turned out that george gave my name for vocals. like what?? vocals?? me?? haha c'mon. i can talk but singing, haha i need a throat transplant first. yea. all the phlegm and whatever i do not want to know is clogging up my throat already. haha. yea. but i guess george gave the wrong person. he always mixed up my sis and my name. i wonder y. yea.

but anyways, aaron also asked me like which part of mm i want to join. haha. if he asked me that same qn like 4 yrs ago, i'd say keyboard. my dad even wanted me to go learn from the then uncle andrew but i refused. haha coz i was too lazy. yea. but when he asked me earlier, i was like pondering over keyboard, drums, guitar, sound or media. i sound so talented right? haha!! yea. but im only a jack of all trades, master of none. then again, nt exactly all trades. haha.

i wanted to join media. but ya, he gave me a wk to think it over. i think 3 days is pretty much enough. haha. to take up 2 min ain't easy. and i've my cell to think abt too. esp if the fri cell do works out, i'll have to take the fri cell so that deb can concentrate on the sun cell alone. yeaaaaa. honestly, it totally freaked me out when deb msged to say she wasn't coming for cell last night at 1130pm. i was panicking. don't believe can ask jo haha!! and she happily ignore me. lols

so if i join mm, it wld mean, taking up 3 ministries.including usher. that's like as gd as going full time. haha act i really don't mind nt studying and going full time now. yea..but i guess, God's calling for me is smth which i don't really have the talent for and He will show His power and glory thru me. yea. act media is smth like a hobby.like what rena said, videomaking is more of a hobby, she wldn't want it as her profession. i think it's the same. but not in the profession part. so many things i love to do, but there's prob only one thing i can really serve God with. i think, i'll just see whether i can really cope with my studies and stuff, cca? hehs. if i really join band, i don't think i'll be taking up another min. yea. that's way too much already. mebbe i'll join iota. some jounalism stuff. besides, cca ain't impt now.

i'm pretty much a weirdo. haha. i like doing things which most girls don't, like math, computing, IT, engineering, designing? and i like doing things most ppl don't haha. yea. but so much i love doing, i haven't been like mastering all those. bottom-line? i'm just a big slacker. i'd prob be my profession haha (:

oh yea. i really thank God for the hols. else i'll just prob like flat and die. been so bz these few days. my brain aint' working no more. and i've gotto finish 9 tutorials. 9!! all 9 of 'em!! yea. but that's my choice. not compulsory or anything. can say i'm courting my own death or what, but yea. i have to finish all 9 of 'em haha. no more slacking shouzhen. al tho i really love to slack. haha! yea. so for the hols, i'm gonna sleep early and wake up late. watch my cartoons and slack after doing my tutorials. i'll probably be so recharged when sch reopens (: i hope.

church was crowded today. haha yea. but audrey came to find me. surprisingly, since she's always ard cherylynn and serene. yea i know my cousin's cliques. lols. yea. then she was like so funny. kept making me laugh. i think i laughed way too much. the area between my ribcage and stomach hurts so badly. haha but seriously. which part of my body ain't working well? everything is like so up-side-down. haha. im like a sick patient like that. except i don't have to be hospitalised.

haha my cousin almost made me puke blood again. haha. she failed her amath test, having me teaching her like, ok, nt that frequent. but ya. all the blood vomitted, haha oh wells. my blood's gone to waste. nowonder i felt like i was dying just now. haha!! yea. but honestly, i just feel my future's so bleak. like i can't see anything in my future. haha. sometimes i try to imagine, but the imagination just stops at that black space. yea. if i'm the only one who's feeling that way, im gonna feel really scared already. lols