searching for an ans.

"You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side"
-- Casting Crown's Love them like Jesus

past few days have been alright. been playing winning e everyday. *sigh* ponned 3 lects last week. didn't do a gd job for gp pres. basically, whole week was rather horribly spent. haha.

came thur's prayer mtg, brought laptop to sch coz of winning e,again.yea.met william and jake for dinner. had a long time deciding what time to meet coz lau wasn't able to go for prayer mtg, else i'd just tell her "meet at 6/6.30" aha.. yea. well, was quite alright having dinner with wil. first time tho. haha... yea. but after we left mac, somehow, my mood was rather agitated.

cldn't really worship during prayer mtg. so unlike me. trying to enter into God's presence seems so difficult for me these days. i tried. i wanted to feel like what it was during church camp. that feeling of wanting to worship God even tho i was super tired. honestly, i was SUPER tired during camp. but i worshipped anyhow. fatigue wasn't a problem to me. but now, every prayer mtg seems to be so draggy and sleepy and tiring. i dont want that kind of feeling.

thank God it became better later on. i knew what to pray for and how to pray for. i like it when the Holy Spirit tells me what to pray for and gives me words. i like it when i'm in God's presence and i can feel Him when i worship. i don't like it when everyone's worshipping God and i feel like a spectator.

william walked me to mrt when he cld actually take bus from the 155 bus stop. hmmm... like my big bro like that. haha. everything also want to correct me. but of coz la. his sis is the same age as me. lol. the train ride home was alright. did lots of thinking. i cldn't come up with an ans. neither cld i on the way to roy's house this evening.

i guess we just need some time away from each other.

well ytd's cell was great. (= i guess it's the first time i cld feel God during praise and worship session. it's like the best i've felt so far. (=(= haha. real happy even tho we started super late and ended late. i'm really really happy that finally praise and worship can be so real even during cell (= haha. mebbe my expectations are low, but i only want a glimpse of God's presence because i know i'm not worthy. but i'm still not satisfied with that lil bit of His presence. haha. i want more!!!

i'm thinking to study at least once a week. i know it's not enough. but unless time permits, i can only do so much. aiming to score full marks for mc paper. wld that be possible? hahaa.. so dream-like.