:")

haha. this smile means smth.

well, finally finished stuff that i needed to do. finished sending cell report, msging cell abt street-e this sat, and... haha think that's all. i still owe ps rachel visitors report. ahahaha..oh boy.

well, school has been alright, i'm suppose to do homework everyday after school when i come home now, but apparently it isn't happening now because i stayed up late on sun night to talk to rach. ya lo. but glad i did talk to her on sun night coz i was too tired to come online last night. haha. she shld be sleeping now in hk. haha... ahha...

yea. it has been raining in the evenings since ytd. i wonder y rain doesn't come and go as and when we want. now we've got to wait till the rain stops to go home. haha. but i think that's one thing i wanna thank God for today.

well, today there's math s paper trg at 5pm. obviously with the rain, there wldn't be pe. so i decided since there isn't pe, i'll go home after marking attendance. but rena and shane were at the gym. so i went to study area above the cafe to do mechanics with weiping. only about 450 rena called. yea. 450pm alr. i was still in sch. hhaa. so while waiting for her to come out of the toilet, somehow, God just prompted me, "aiya. just go for ur s paper trg"

if it were 1hour later, i wld be persistent and say "no, i havent done my work. go also no use"

but then, it was alr 4.50 and trg starts at 5. might as well go. so with much pushing from God i finally relented. yea. i wasn't happy when i went. i was complaining to rena. haha. but i thank God i went. no, nth great happened during the trg, nth miraculous happened, in fact i was quite irritated during the trg. just felt alright coz i obeyed.

oh well, but God did speak to me abt some stuff. smth He prompted me today was why i've been feeling so oppressed during the past one yr plus with the scholars. probably coz i felt looked down upon. alright. scholars ARE smart ppl. they score As like nobody's business. but there's this thing that they show that makes me think they are looking down on me. ha. like so what if u are smart. ur lacking in so many things.

that's why i've always wanted to do well, do better than them. but one thing God reminded me, through playing the song "salvation is here" was: even if u get ur 4As, 1 A1, s paper dist, if u DON'T HAVE CHRIST IN YOU, u'll perish. "for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16.

i have something better in me that they don't have, and probably won't have if no one shares the gospel to them. i felt happy knowing that i have something better than them. but i was reminded much of the fact that God did speak to me abt sharing the gospel to them.

i had the right heart then, but with the wrong attitude. tt's y i nv talked to them.

moving on to another point, i rmb that in the beginning of the yr, i wrote ppl cards. haha new yr cards to my classmate. and last yr, i wasn't close to yilin at all. haha. thot she had a different frequency from my clique. yea. but in the card i wrote to her, i wrote smth abt "hope to know u better this yr"

this was impactful as i nv did realise that those few words that didn't really mean much to be but sort of speak out my what i wanted really affected me. just by writing those few words, i really got to know yilin a lil better. friendship is really one weird thing that i'll probably nv comprehend. haha.

then there's peer pressure and all that...

ha. stop hiding alr. u better come out soon.