no more.

love me no more
just leave me alone
it's this feeling i get
everytime we meet
i don't want to fall back
into the same mess again
knowing that we'll hurt each other
again and go back
again to the past
i wish it would stop
no amount of strength
i can muster to cure it
heal the wound that was
hurt so many times
why have we gotten so close?
remain as friends
u promised.
i can't believe i'm living it again.
to hear God's voice
reassurance and peace
yet confusion
how much i wish i hadn't met u

and i'm running
i'm blaming God for playing this trick on me
if God's peace was real
then why am i reliving this again?
after stuggling so hard
to be saved from the clutches of hell
again.
i can't believe it.
this was not meant to happen.

and the parable of the lost sheep came to mind
am i supposed to believe it's God's voice?
does God really run after the one sheep that strayed
away even though it was on intention?
i know God's love is unfailing
amazing, wonderful, forgiving, awesome

God really does run faster than us
He's running alongside this bus i'm on
He's knocking on the windows
but i'm not looking
i'm not hearing
He's clearing the way
making sure there's no obstruction along the way
He's moving the people aside
making sure no one's injured
He's holding the bus
making sure it doesn't meet with an accident

i've been straying too far from God.
He must be very sad
because the song still remains in my heart
and i'm sad too
because i've missed the bus
i've got to walk all the way back to God again
because that's where i want to go
even though everything has gone wrong
i realised i can't live without God
i can't live a day without Him.

it's more than picking up the pieces and hurting myself again.