going on nineteen.

i'll be nineteen in a month and 21 days time. still, not that soon. haha.

nineteen is like a sacred age for youth alive because it's the age when u can finally be attached and start going after some guy/girl u like without having the leaders watch over your shoulder and things like that. at nineteen, there's nothing wrong with having a relationship because it has been decided that one will be matured enough at nineteen to make the right decisions. of course there are the group of people who will still not be matured at nineteen and the leaders will often be kaypoh-ing around, not in a bad way of course. haha. and i remember one statement ps rachel made about the rule: leaders shouldn't get attached until 20+ to set a good example for the members to follow. of course, as leaders, we have our responsibilities and it really isn't easy to manage both a relationship and spiritual responsibilities since it's already quite hard to be a good leader now.

bgr has always been a taboo in youth alive, well, until recently the bosses have embossed this rule a little more strictly. everytime there's a new member, we always worry whether he/she is attached and we fumble on telling them not to get into a relationship because of the church's stand - only 19 and above. while i think the rule is beneficial and it's always good to follow rules, i'm not going to discuss about the rule.

for those who have yet to even reach 16, it's still a long wait to nineteen. many people think nineteen is the age of freedom, it's the age when u actually become an 'adult' in the sense to get into a relationship. nineteen is the age when u stop ogling at the opposite sex and finally being with someone for the rest of your life.

even though i keep talking about marriage and finding a boyfriend, i think, i'm actually not ready. haha. life is always trial and error. if u hadn't experienced something before, u will never know how u will go through it even if a million people have said their testimonies.

i miss the feeling of being in love. i miss the feeling of crushing on someone.

haha. it's been a long time (=