make complete.

awesome. haha. i can only say that God is awesome.

this feeling hasn't stopped bugging me since secondary school. ever since i strained my muscle, i never seemed to be as healthy as before. and it seems that i grow weaker every year instead. i'm falling sick more and more often each year and there're just instances that i feel i won't live very long. hahahhaa...

maybe i'm paranoid. maybe i'm too afraid or something. but everytime i fall sick, i get discouraged because being weak means i can't do much, i can't go my max and sometimes i just feel so tired that i can't go church anymore because of the travelling distance.

sometimes i wonder whether will i live for long. sometimes i wonder when i'm really gonna die. hahahaha... it isn't healthy to think about such stuff but ya, the thought still comes back once in a while. today i felt exceptionally discouraged coz today was the first time i felt that i couldn't sing much. i just didn't have the strength and energy to sing and worship God, to even utter the lyrics. and i felt so desperate coz all i wanted to do was to just worship God but i couldn't.

but God is great. He reminded me again that while my work on earth is not done, my life won't end so soon. hahahaha... i really sound like i'm gg to die. but nvm. hahahaa... sometimes i fear like when will i not have enough energy to breathe anymore. but yea. i will not die like that unless my work here is complete and furthermore, God's plan for me is not thru yet.

it's just one of the days that i think about my health. other times, i just have to say that i'm living on God's grace. everyday, every moment, i'm living on grace. i will not know what will happen 2mr but everyday i thank God for moments that i can speak to Him.

but i trust God. i trust that God has a reason for this to happen. just like everything else that happens. i can't change wad happened in my life but i can help someone going through the same situation. there's so much i can do for myself but if it makes a difference in another person's life, why not. at that time, i wished there was someone who could tell me what to do, but there wasn't any. now, i'm not denying people a chance to have someone to guide them. i realise the importance because i don't want them to learn the hard way as i did.

when i'm weak, You make me strong. when i'm down, You lift me up. when i'm broken, You make me whole.