tired.

as what daniel said, "there seems to be a spirit of tiredness"

haha. i don't know why i always feel so tired every sunday. just feel very drained on sunday. haha. sometimes i wonder when i can pull off leading this cell. i wanna push multiplication quickly but there are also other concerns: a leader to lead the other cell and the spiritual stability of the cell.

sometimes i feel that i'm on the edge of burning out because there are too many members to take care of. in west cell, there were only like 7-8 of us and jo and i almost died. hahaha... yea. i'll need to deploy my key members to take care of the little ones. but it's all just so tiring.

i wish there were someone to help me run the cell. yet i know God's training me. haha. sometimes i feel so sian that i just don't feel like doing anything, don't feel like leading. but then again, i still have to press on.

God's way always isn't the easier way to go. but because i love God, i fear God, i'll choose to walk His way (=

today, the strangest thing happened but also something i wanna thank God for. i spent almost the whole night preparing today's sharing. was a little apprehensive in sharing on that topic but i decided, just make do with it. but today, i decided that the sharing wasn't appropriate at all and the Holy Spirit just prompted me to share on matthew's "do not worry". and true enough, it was something the cell needed. but i regretted not praying individually for each one of them and not coming up with a better song, and not practising my guitar since i was playing today. haha. it's only at times like this that i regret not spending more time with God.

haha. and i also regretted spending the whole night to prepare sharing. hahahahhahaa... but in a way, if i didn't prepare sharing, i might not be able to hear the Holy Spirit's prompting either. so, thank God (=