killing the dream.

and another friendship saved.

i was reminded of the verse "For i know the plans for u..." and i wanted to refer to it but i couldn't find it in my new nkjv bible!! i kept refering to jer 29, jer 33, blah blah... couldn't find. so much for buying a new bible. if i had brought my old niv one i would have found it like instantly.

argh.

and so. the verse.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

well, it was a follow-up on what God said the night before. a continuation of the shocking stuff He said that night. i wasn't very happy when God said those stuff. it was my dream. all this while i had been working towards my dream, doing the things i wanted to achieve more in my life in the future. what i had always wanted to do.

"NO"

it was a very firm "NO". very firm indeed. and i felt hurt. why would God disagree on something that i'd searched high and low for to finally come to a conclusion that that was what i would want for my life.

then God did a heart surgery there and then during prayer meeting. a change of perspective. to put things right in its place. to kill my dream. it was so hard. i nearly broke down.

i dreamt big. i dreamt world-wide. i dreamt fame. i dreamt awesomeness.

but i dreamt wrong.

true, God gave me a vision when i was in sec4. it was a dream. it was what i dreamt when i gave my life back to Jesus. but i lost the dream. then i dreamt for the cell. it was a great dream.

then i lost focus. i knew that all along. i knew i was straying away from God when i lost that dream.

today was a turning point. a sign of God's love that He didn't want me to stray any further.

i could feel God telling me to kill my dream with a tear in His eye saying because He didn't want me out of His sight, out of His care.

and i understood that perfectly.

if i had followed my dream, i would prolly be lost.

God saved me when i was in sec2. He saved me again now.

how loving and forgiving the shepherd is.

i can't comprehend.