some more

today was cool (=

it all started from a simple cell sharing, to a familiar face, to another familiar face, to a song, and then finally, a sermon.

i would like to think my sharing today was God-inspired but i doubt so because i hadn't been doing qt and spending time with God, not even worshipping God as often as i used to on the guitar. many times i feel guilty coz i don't prepare my sharing as much as i used to with west cell. moreover, i always think that since now they are kids, there are many many things that i can share and teach them instead of challenging myself to learn more like what i did last time. ya. but i guess, it's a new challenge. probably deb felt that she wasn't growing because the kids are on a different spiritual level from where we are because of the age gap and stuff. but i guess, it's a challenge because we have to speak their language and know their culture and grow ourselves spiritually. that was probably one of the reasons i stopped growing spiritually initially - the sudden change in environment.

sometimes it's cool to be on usher duty. coz instead of just singing the songs and jumping along, u get to ponder abt stuff too (= even though many people have left, i've just got to get used to it. i rmbed george telling me abt the cell that "for those who want to leave, just let them leave and dont hold on to them. it won't help the cell if they stay and they won't be happy too"

i didn't agree at first but i think now i'm starting to understand the meaning. there are people who will come back to church and grow if u keep 'pestering' them but there are also others who will be adamant about their decisions and stay away from church.

then again, God is great. for every loss, He has filled them with other gains (= maybe life isn't fair, but God is fair (=

and ps peter shared a great sermon (= hehehs. great. maybe for most people they might think that their gifts are too small, but for me, i think my gift is too big. haha. sometimes i think i'm unworthy of what God has given me. but God is a wise God, if He thinks i can make it, y should i think otherwise. God is great. (=

maybe i'm getting over it. maybe i'm starting to look on the brighter side. it'll be gone. soon.