thoughts

it isn't the time to make year-end resolutions yet. haha.

i was just thinking through from jan 2006 started whilst blogging on the other blog. indeed alot has happened - emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

the emotional part was horrid. if anyone knows how hard it is to get over something or someone, that would suffice. but it was a good learning experience and it was something i had achieved when i never believed i could get over it. the emotional realm is just so confusing to me sometimes. sometimes i really don't know what i'm thinking of whether i'm even lying to myself. sometimes it's just so weird, to really know what u want.

spiritually, it was even tougher. it was hard to maintain a good relationship with God with all the other responsibilities and problems faced. it was hard to do qt everytime and edwj just seemed so boring and every night i would be so tired to spend quiet time with God. it was a spiritual rollercoaster ride.

mentally, it was hard too; to have the mindset that the A's were coming and to instill the discipline of studying. it was hard because i regretted coming to jc instead of doing an ICT course in SP, which i wanted to do very badly then.

it was just a whole life-changing experience to me, something which ironically, i had been praying for. oh boy. sometimes we just got to think through what we really want Got to put in our lives. i always thought that being a christian meant we had to go through some magnificent life-changing event. a life-changing event did occur in my life, but it wasn't for the better. instead, it made me think deeper into life and probably think too much.

truely, we cannot comprehend God's wisdom and ways He has in our lives. "Ignorance is bliss." i guess faith is really the only way to please God. and that verse has given me a new meaning; to believe in the unseen. (=