when things break.

when glass break, it's hard to mend. it's impossible to fix the pieces together.

when paper is torn, it's easy to put the pieces together.

when a heart is broken, it takes time to heal.

i've suddenly become numbed of the feeling of love. all of a sudden, i've lost all emotions to cry or rmb sad memories, not that i want to remember them.

even though there isn't a reason to be sad anymore, i kind of miss them - the memories. usually at this time of the night, all the memories will flood back and replay like a film. now, there isn't a fragment of it because God really took them all away. aha. it kind of reminds me of the jim carrey movie - beautiful sunshine of the spotless mind. lol. where all the memories just disappear.

in a way, good. i've started to concentrate on God more and things are starting to look better, well, almost. God always never leaves us. He never lets us go. and with that, He will always put tests in our lives so that we may not slack and we may grow even stronger. haha. that's how i see it everytime an event ends another arises out of no where.

it's something that i had been praying for and God did answer. i've been asking God these few days whether is it the one but all i get is "y dont u spend more time with me so that i can answer ur questions?" haha. a very typical answer from God! but thing is that i want to, but i'm scared. i'm always scared for whatever answers God gives to whatever questions. i guess it's time i really spend more time with God and really focus on my cell vision too. haha.

or maybe after i come back from canada, everything will be revealed to me. haha. i hope. and definitely, i need to wait. hahah.

actually there was this thing that God spoke to me on sunday and that was about the reason why i got into SA. i always say it's because God's will that i'm in SA. well, indeed it is. but the reason why God put me in SA was because He wanted me to touch some lives and be an impact there. i realised that i haven't really been a christian during these 2 years of my life partly because of certain wrong decisions i made in my life. that was y i never saw the reason why God put me in SA. well ps pam was saying that if u don't allow God to reveal to u the things in life that He wants to use u, u will miss out those things only to have God reveal to u in heaven the things u missed out in life.

i took that. that's y i understood now the importance of living it God's way. haha. a very hard lesson i admit - 2 years of my life. and when ur relationship with God isn't right, nothing else will fall in the right place.

so right now, more praying.