communication with God

i think i've been like overstressed or smth or because i've overshot my threshold that's why i'm being paranoid and there's this fear that keeps haunting me. i don't have nightmares or fears that really haunt me but this thing has been bothering me quite awhile. maybe watched too much tv. haha.

anyway, i've been praying about it and everytime it comes, i just pray for God to just make it go away like any other horrible thoughts that come to my mind. but this time, it just doesn't go away. and so many times i ask God why.

and then God just spoke randomly during prayer mtg today or rather made me realise something.

sometimes it may not be the devil who is putting these distractions in our lives. sometimes it's God who puts these distractions in our lives.

and why would God do something like that? when i have these thoughts haunting me, i would pray and ask God to remove them. sometimes it's just God's way of giving opportunities to communicate with Him. at other times, i realised i don't really talk to God much unless like when i'm alone or before i sleep or during qt.

and then i thought to myself: why should i be communicating with God only in these circumstances?

i'm always learning things the hard way. but why should i be subjected to fear only to talk to God? and then i realised i haven't been spending much time with God. even at instances when God asks me to pray for my family, cell and other stuff, i just simply push them aside.

i know prayer is important. but sometimes it's so hard to break out of the momentum of our daily lives to pray. i think it's just something i've got to learn. i've got to talk to God. haha.