boldness

one of my strengths is boldness, yet one of my weaknesses is fear. irony isn't it.

i was looking thru my box of letters, notes and cards ppl have written to me over the years and i chanced upon ps rachel's note. she wrote that i have boldness. boldness is something many ppl desire to have because with boldness, u can achieve alot of things. most people worry and fear but for me, boldness doesn't come without thinking about the consequences; it comes with faith.

lately, alot of fears have started to grip me. it is my weakness because although most of the time i ignore the fears, once they grip me, it takes alot of time and effort for me to overcome them. elaine prayed for me on thursday on fears and negativity. old fears are starting to come back. frustration is also starting to come back. i can't help but have this perspective that things are like that, people are like that.

church will always be like that. christians will always be like that. these are just some facts that can never change. the only thing that can change is my mindset. and God reminded me that the church is the house of God. i've got to focus on Him and not the little distractions around Him.

it's true that when u take a step back to look at the bigger picture, the distractions become smaller and the focus shifts back to God. distractions are irritating. yes. but i've got more things to focus on (=

and i guess, it's time i be bold in my visions.