Desire and Need

People will never desire for more of God if they don't realise their need of Him.

What will it take for someone to realise that they need God? The only scenario I can think of is when he/she meets with a life/death situation that only God can intervene.

It's actually a complex question to think about. What if during that situation the person loses faith and just leave 'fate to decide'? What if even in the face of crisis we do not turn to God?

It always takes two hands to clap. God can draw us so much but we have to do our part in drawing back to Him. Jeremiah 29:13 says "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Even if initially we do not have that desire for God in our lives but if we earnestly seek God and want God to help us realise our need of Him, He will. But I've come to realise to be careful what I wish for. Just as if we ask God for wisdom, be prepared for God to give us a lot of wisdom in areas we are most sensitive to. So if we desire for God to reveal to us our need of Him, He will and it might be a life/death situation that we have to go through.

Of course everyone has their own DNA build-up and configurations and what works best for them. Probably not everyone has to go through a life/death situation to experience the reality of God. Probably not everyone has to have a burning-bush experience, although I've yet to see an exception. Probably my definitions are wrong in the first place. Probably I'm learning not to be so judgmental.

I keep telling myself I only have less than 11 months left. I don't have much time to play around and make a fool of myself. I don't have time to entertain nonsense and if I must, I will give it my all this year. I'm willing to go far this year because it will be my final year. Yet at the same time, I'm struggling with myself for so many things because of so many changes I have to undertake. I've survived (literally) these 4 weeks of school and I believe God will continue to help me through. It's a miracle I survive, really. No doubt I have fun at the same time, it's a miracle I'm still having this passion to go on. I really need the strength and the heart.

Things are slowly working out and I have faith to believe it will be a good year. It's gonna be tiring and hard and horrible but it will be good. It will be good because of Romans 8:28.

If anyone would want to talk about hurts, discouragements, failures, disappointments, lack of trust, I've experienced quite a fair bit already. All these make up who I am today and I'm not afraid, I shouldn't be, to share them and make a stand for what I believe in.

I didn't get here today effortlessly or by chance. I need to remember who I am. How often I would want to forget the past, how often it will haunt me and remind me of who I am. It's what makes me stronger, it's what makes me go on despite the circumstances.