a change

went for 2nd svc today coz needed to go celebrate mommy's birthday.

so much has happened during the past few months that i don't know how to end or begin now. haha. a new start of an end?

yea, that explains it all; i don't even know what i'm talking now these days, not even praying. haha.

it's gd to take things slow and steady and not rush through life and get tired. it's good to take a breather once in awhile and try crazy stuff that u want to.

sometimes i find it hard to change myself, particularly because i don't want to. i've always been this crazy person, always wanting to have fun, trying weird stuff, doing weird things, making myself look silly not because i want to attract attention (so not) but because i enjoy doing it. haha. weird, yea.

sometimes i think ppl do judge u in how u carry urself. i'm always acting smart that i know ppl will look at me in this way so i try not to present myself in a way that makes myself look bad. haha. and i think that thinking harms the soul. so what if ppl look at me that way, it's me and if my intentions aren't harmful, i shouldn't be affected by what i think how ppl look at me. and it rolls pretty well off the tongue.

guess i'll stay as someone who will always look for fun, silly things and weird things. God has made everyone special in His image. trying to change myself will do myself no good if it isn't what God has in mind.

mebbe some quiet will do me well until mebbe after prelims. i guess i should be back on form after awhile more. can't afford to delay anymore in assuming leadership in sunday cell. the kids need someone to look after them. (=

it's gonna be pretty (=