i'm back

haha. past few days have been good. God's grace is really so amazing!

i guess i've never felt like this for a long time. everything seems so normal now, so right. it's true joy i feel now, although i used to laugh and joke along in the past months. it's no more a facade i display now. the brooding period has long past and i hope and pray that i've crossed the hurdle.

during the past months, i asked God why i wasn't feeling right, wasn't feeling normal and i wasn't feeling what i should; i wasn't doing the things that i would used to do. well, today, i could feel a little of myself coming back. haha. and i found it cool (= it's like a new breath of life was just breathed into a dead man's chest.

and i'm starting to pray again. hahha. i think it's so cool when problems are settled and relationships are restored. problems do take a toll of ur energy.

i guess i was too carried away by everything that all these resulted. God has reasons for letting us face trails and temptations and His reason would probably be this: to get down to the basics of all - relationship with God.

it's so important to spend time with God. i realised that it's only during QT that i'll pray specific prayers, unless i have a v strong prompting that i'll be forced to pray. and it's only during those few minutes that i feel i'm drawing closer to God. of coz without a right relationship with God, u won't get/feel anything out of QT. and i realised that doubt can kill.

when i received the email, i was scared, honest. i wondered if all these peace and joy would change after reading the email. and silly me prayed before opening the mail. God assured me that things will go fine and even if the mail were to really shake me off-ground, He'll provide the strength to go through it. and i read. indeed, God did provide the strength and the courage (=

many things about tomorrow
i don't seem to understand
but i know He holds tomorrow
and i know He holds my hand

it's been a long time since i read verses and quoted scripture. but i was encouraged when i saw the verses in victor's locker. i think God's bringing me back to the basics of all again. haha. v cool.

for these 2-3 days spent, i would appreciate the 2-3 months of back-sliding and problems. it's a lesson i thank God for using those few months of my life (=

i give up trying to figure the underlying. i learnt in lit class once that poems and writings do give a different perspective everytime u read it, sounds like bible scriptures. haha. but yea. different people hold different perspectives. sometimes our minds can be so clouded by our emotions that everything just affects us even though in actual fact they do not mean anything. that's again smth i've learnt. i can feel that i'm back again. ahahhahaa... yea. it's great to be back (=