joy

i never actually understood what pure joy was, even in the worst circumstances.

yes, of course, in God's presence there is fullness of joy. but that kind of joy is not something that eludes u away from reality. sometimes i would be skeptical and think that being 'happy' in God's presence and 'enjoying' His presence is just escaping reality and ignoring what's going on in life and just try to be happy for that few hours.

but, thank God, that's not true. through this i understand that even at the worst circumstances, it's not really a 'bo chap' attitude but really whether i choose to be sad and depressed or choose to rejoice because of God's grace, i can face whatever that happens. even amidst the worst circumstances possible, i choose to give thanks for what God has done in my life because really, this one small thing cannot overwrite all the wonderful things He has done and He deserves all praise and glory.

if God isn't in my life, i would be living a very depressed life now and thinking of the worst possible circumstances with nothing to hold on. i know because i was truely very sad that day but without God's strength and His peace telling me that everything will be alright, i wouldn't be typing this today. because only God is the same yesterday, today and forever and everything else will change, we can't hold on to anything but God because He is the only one that will never change.

i will still thank God for whatever happens(=