memoirs

everyday when i check my mail and wait for pages to load, i would look at the frames on my wall. i only have 3 frames/boards on the wall that belong to me. sometimes i would smile when i look at the pictures, sometimes a heavy feeling would dawn on me. seeing that two-third of the people in the pictures are no where to be found anymore, it kind of makes me discouraged. and reading the notes they've written makes me wonder again and again why things happened the way they did.

no one can say for sure who was right or wrong; we all have to make choices in life. what is medicine for one may be poison to another. truely, it makes my heart sink when i look at the pictures and the words.

the frame was given to me in memory of my members when i handed the cell over. regina was telling me about not being sure about the person she would pass her prayer group too. i've never had that feeling of being unsure and worry about whether the next leader i pass the baton to would be incompetent even after handling 2 cell groups over. i've always had full confidence in people because i understood that God has chosen the person to take the cell group, if not, He has put an impression on the leader who chooses the next successor. i've never blamed anyone for the lost of these people. i have only myself to blame. so sometimes, i would try and text some of the people in regret tho i know i shouldn't be doing so.

today, God showed me something new. in the frame lebbillie made for all the leaders who moved up to tertiary last year, there were actually 2 pictures of the 2 distinct cell groups i took. sorry i took only a year to realise. haha. i realised that sunday cell actually grew from being an all girls cell group, to an all boys cell group. and today, that original sunday cell has multiplied into 3 different cell groups; all i've been a part of.

yes, i still wish those members would still be around. but knowing God's grace upon sunday cell, it stirs me to move forward with the people i have now. and today, God is telling me it's just the beginning.

i'm not saying this in disappointment with my cell group now but really with a humble attitude knowing that it is God that causes all these events to happen. it's really not by my own strength or even plan, but according to His timing and His will. i will stand by my cell group no matter what happens.