=(

I think I'm mildly depressed, if not depressed. Maybe I really am too stressed up with school work. Today on the train to meet dear at town, I was really feeling quite bad and disgusted with what was happening around me. For the first time in my life I actually felt depressed to be out of the house and mixing with people when for the majority part of my life, I would tend to think being around people would cure any form of emotion. Apparently it didn't work today. It could be due to my history essay, I don't really know, but I really felt depressed and needed something desperately to at least make me laugh/smile.

It's not the first time I'm facing things I cannot handle on my own but it is the first time things are happening too fast for me to take in. There were so many instances I wanted to just throw in the towel and surrender and just leave but that sense of responsibility kept pulling me back. I know deep in my heart it's impossible and I may very well jeopardize my own life, my own future. I don't know why I'm still hanging on. But it's at such periods of time where God does the unthinkable and it's precisely at these points in time when you see your fruits of labour. It's during these times that God actually sends encouragement by meeting/exceeding your expectations.

Everyday is a miracle. People hope for miracles to happen to them but the fact I'm still working and pushing on everyday is already a miracle. It is to the point of impossibility that I believe God can really move mountains. And this breath of life is really all that I need.