Like Magic

When seasons change, the old magically disappears to welcome the new season in. Like in autumn, the orange leaves disappear by the time you realise snow is setting in. And when spring comes, snow melts away. The seasons in our lives are pretty much the same. When you know that a new season is approaching, or rather, by the time you realise the new season has started, everything of the old will fade away; like magic.

This proved real to me when all of a sudden, the people that used to affect me every Sunday suddenly weren't in any visible contact. The things that used to bother me suddenly ebbed away without me realising. It's true that joy just left me few months back and it's also true that these days, I feel a little bit of joy coming back every day. Healing does take time.

Life is tough. I don't really want to repeat the phrase "life hasn't been good to me these months..." time and time again as though I live a horribly depressing life. But maybe, just maybe, I'm beginning to understand parts of why certain things happen in my life and why God leads me in certain directions.

Today's preaching brought me back to 2007's Youth Camp whereby God said the exact same thing as what the preacher preached today: about sacrificing your Isaac in your life. I should go be a preacher too. Haha! 4 years ago I had many Isaacs. Now, my only Isaac is really this life that I have. My future, my dreams, my cell group, even my friends and family, I do not have ownership over them because I've committed all of them to God.

The preaching today was more than just a reminder about what God said to me 4 years ago, it was a confirmation and a reassurance. Actually I've been doing a lot of thinking during this holiday and boy I'm glad I'd finally sort things through. I actually regret not leaving 2 years ago when God said I had to go. Obedience is truly better than sacrifice and I wouldn't have to face all that mess if I had left 2 years ago. Then again, I would probably not be as 'awoken' as now. Still, I won't know how things would turn out. I didn't have the courage to leave 2 years back anyway.

After 2 years, I finally understood why I had to go and how I wish I had obeyed God then and not wait until I fully rationalise this decision. At least I'm glad now, and at peace with myself and God. I've never felt more certain than this. And even though it's a huge step I have to take, and with all that excitement I'm having for the new season God has for me, I'm not anxious or worried because I know God has a place for me and for us.

The reasons I've been giving were just words that made sense to other people's ears. Now, they finally make sense to my heart and mind. This time, I can say without a doubt why I have to go, and without a sense of bitterness.

Because it's time to move on :)