counter thoughts

it's nearing 3am now. reason why i stayed up was to complete my goal for this week - finish mechanics tutorials 10 - 12. have i succeeded? well, i only manage to complete like 2/5 of it. tho i only did so much, i managed to roughly get an idea of those 2 topics, out of which i haven't touched simple harmonics. so, i'm gonna have to sacrifice my sunday.

i've been dealing with this alot now. i know what God has said will and must come to past. it has. it happened. ironically, itunes is playing chris tomlin's Your Grace is Enough and he's singing the bridge: Your grace is enough/i'm covered in Your love/Your grace is enough for me. but truely and surely, God's grace is sufficient. i can't ask for more grace.

while part of me wants to run from reality and ignore the only source of hope, the other half is still holding on to the almighty, knowing that even if the whole world fails, my results aren't showing, my stress level is going way up, i've left my good friends to fend for themselves and no one understands me, God still cares and He still holds my tomorrow.

it happened one after another and i don't intend to have another one leave. i only hope to be able to stand after all this and after my exams, knowing that God has carried me through. God mended a broken heart, He mended a broken spirit. He stopped the tears from flowing and He forgave me.

my only prayer was to see you well. afterall, God did answer my prayer. if this had to happen, i wouldn't blame you for saying whatever even if it was in a fit of anger. i just couldn't face it if i had to explain myself, not now. maybe God will make a way.

i'd been online all this while, appearing offline. a form of escape, maybe. besides, it's not as if the whole world will stop for me.

and i'll still say blessed be Your name.