lost

well. eventful week. it's been a long time since i was so busy; running all over singapore. i've yet to really spend 24hours at home this whole week, not considering my sleep of coz. i miss talking to daddy and mommy.

cell was cool today (= well, it's a lil different when daniel's leading the cell - the stuff he shares on and the way he leads the cell. it's a different way from what i used to do. well, of coz he's much better, haha, he's a much more experienced leader than me. besides, he'll be a better choice in raising jo as a leader and others too. and i can tell he's trying his best to make everyone comfortable, considering his age and being the only guy. but there's gonna be the day when i'm gonna leave everything in his and jo's hands. i'm looking forward to that day coz it's only then can the cell grow. hehs.

meanwhile, i've got much more things in line for me.

what daniel said today was really true. he stated the eg of a loved one passing away and a whole lot of tragedies happen to u, will u still stand for God? yea, i'll backslide a little too and finally come back to God because i'll realise i can't live without God. what daniel said was so true, especially after experiencing it for myself.

similarly, during prayer mtg last night, i realised that i couldn't live without God. God used to be my source of comfort, strength, my life. when i almost totally backslided, my purpose of living left too. but i thank God because now i realise how important God is. He's the only one i can hold on to, when the rest of the world falls and everyone fails.

yet, this week has been a gruelling one too. thursday brought back lots of memories and deep thinking. clearly i wasn't alright. maybe under too much stress?

i really thought it through. somehow i just couldn't find an ans. i came up with a conclusion, perhaps ur decision was right. honestly i'm sad, i was hurt. but, some things just can't be helped. i promised u i wouldn't say this word again, but really, i'm screwed this time round. perhaps this trail of misunderstanding will never end.

you win some, you lose some. that's what i told jo. the only difference now, i lost everything, but i won back my salvation, by the grace of God.

i don't blame u. i really don't. i just thought it was pointless to explain myself.

and now we are strangers.