my life

welcome to my life
simple plan
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
[x2]

Welcome to my life [x3]

get a grip

it's way too early to make resolutions for the yr. c'mon it's not even dec yet. hahas! yea, and even if i do,i'd better write up a 100 000 words essay for the sake of rach, in case she says, again, that my resolution is too short. actually, i've nth much to write here. just felt this feeling inside me urging me to write. sometimes i just can't do w/o writing. be it crap, an essay, an n3, or just a piece of writing, it has apparently become part of my life,smth that's in my blood already.it's actually a gd thing u know,improving my english a whole lot. hahas yea, but my english is like horrendous. heees....

right now i just need a clear-headed n wise person to just tell me smth. hahas. yea, mebbe the busy-ness has gotten to me. *sighs*

don't go overboard. might just make a mess out of nth and end up regretting it.

agape

sleEp!

the first day of the hol i get to rest. n i don't just mean rest, i mean slack, rot, practically what i've always longed for even before my exams started. and finally i get to enjoy ONE day of nice long relaxing and somewhat, enjoying rot hahas. heading off to lau's house 2mr for meeting and mebbe get some rest on saturday plus loads of packing b4 sunday arrives and have to do usher sunday morning. honest i didn't know til xue yan smsed me. *yawns* slping early on sat night means missing out the last chance to chat with u ppl on sat night...*sighs* then i'll be off to m'sia and 4/5 guys will be out to chalet..*sighs* hahas when dec comes i'm going to have to go shopping with lsn!!! hahas so exciting..more exciting than the 'next' and 'submit' button i pressed this afternoon..lols but anyways, my lousy com made it so irritating that i lost all the excitement b4 i sent in the form...lols

not knowing which step to take,which move to make.

agape

grad tea

finally the day has come, the day that we officially graduate from nhss and now an ex-nanhuarian, be it nhps or nhss..haha, finally i can't quit singing the sch song for 10 yrs already...remembering the sch motto...*sighs* guess i'm going to miss nh...yea, but b4 that i guess i'll be needing my beauty sleep now...more than anything...

the tea was fine, really. some either came in too casual, or too formal. some too black or too colourful. hehs...took alot of photos...i'll be really missing 4/5...*sobs* and so sorry guys i can't go to the chalet coz of church camp..really looking forward to the nx meeting with u ppl..nt to mention i want to play mahjong too..whahahahas!!! no money included pls. i'm totally outta cash. can u believe it? my hands are literally itching now...hahas...nt that i so want to play mahjong but i think i feel an allergy coming on..*sighs* i shldn't have eaten that choc icecream...maire zheng!!

watched the incredibles...had to take a cab down to cine coz of the rain...else we cld just walk there...incredibles is just great..(: it's funny and funny (:(: nt to mention jack jack is SO CUTE!!!!! hahahas i love the last part when he turned into some kind of monster hahahahhas lols it's so cute...yea, but by the time we reached cine all the jackjack postcards were gone, leaving only that iceman postcard..hopefully jo wld have gotten some tho..*ponders* haha jackjack is so cute

last but nt least, we took neoprints..a tradition for lsn everytime we go out. (: yea, took plenty, squeezed like anything infont of the machine, paid like anything too...guess i'm broke *sighs* there goes my christmas savings, including the money to go zoo :PpPPp no more zoo! *cheers*

i'm alseep.believe it or else.

agape

rahhhh

*faints* almost dieded ytd...all becoz of marie, had to sleep at 1am...had meeting at 11am coz of lljj and daniel yam..ya but discussed a whole lot ytd...yea...can't wait for zone camp...have been in the committee twice already...i am so tired organizing *sighs* but i hafta...yups..just pray hard that george won't put me as commandant nx yr..*prays* haha nt as grp ldr or team ldr in church camp this yr *phew* hahas...that's a whole lot of me....i guess zone camp is going to be somewhat different from last yr..abt previous yrs i wld have no idea, coz i've only been in zone 2 for like 2 yrs only..so..ya..*yawns* but it's going to be v CHEENA indeed....all the chinese games lebblue came out... i m going to faint..finally managed to escape from the disgsting world of chinese and here, she gives me games that are in chinese...man..im really going to faint..hahas..ya coz of marie zheng..had a horrible headache ytd...almost dieded of the headache..was like throbbing so badly until i thot my blood vessel wld burst...*sighs*

well...went back to sch today for the jc talk..wasn't much...then went to rena's house supposedly for manicure but then again, my nails are like so puny..what's there to paint? so went there to play ps instead..i love ps..hahas and now my hands are aching...coz of the 7 lvled street fighter..*sighs* then when marie and anita came they were like soaking wet..hahas!! started their manicure and i was happily playing (:(:

well..2mr's grad tea..*sighs* hahas have to wake up so early to do my hair...that's what my mom wants...and ya, the hairspray is killing my nose...don't think i'll do up my hair...*shakes head* after that going to watch the incredibles and collect post cards again (:(: *cheers* after that c whether i'll have enuff energy, i'll come home and raid my com again (: c u guys 2mr (:

agape

nothing

the contents u read
the words u c
in between the lines
they don't appear
as what they shld
misunderstanding
yes they do come abt
but the real meaning
it always stay
a thousand words
can't describe
what i really mean
to say to u that
it's really nothing
nothing
that's all i have to say

finished another piece of writing..in times like this, a writing is all i have to do

agape

haha!!

haha!! the first sunday after my tormenting season of exams..hahas!! the feeling is pretty much the same as that of during the exams since i've been slacking throughout..so ya..hahas i'm feeling the same! hahas only thing that i'm slacking w/o studying (: hees....well...today was fine...today was great in fact...yea....fun..except for the fact that i twisted my neck..so cldn't turn left or right...and irritating ppl ard me kept asking me to look left look right -.- raaahhhhh!!!!!! hahas....but gd thing la..lols cldn't turn left/right...altho uncomfortable hahas today has to be the most suay day for joanne lols!! :p hahas....lols can't stop laughing

well....tues the last day for o's...at least for lynn and kailing..hahas been suaning kailing the whole day already..so tired now..*yawns* turns out that might be in the same grp as lynn...hahas had the usual update thing and all that lols lynn yeo ah!! *faints* then haha i'm anticipating the fun i'm gonna have at church camp (:(: yea..followed by zone camp...so sian...gotto go for meeting 2mr and lljj hasn't smsed me yet..hahas *yawns*

haha been sneezing the whole day today..hopefully i do'nt fall sick 2mr coz i feel that i'm coming down with smth..but oh wells..(: hahas many ppl have been sneezing whole day also..hahas like jingngei and lynn lols like someone's scolding me the whole day like that...sneezed non-stop...*sighs* lols but the sneezing stopped..for now..

haha wrote a song ytd....right b4 qt..just had the inspiration...ya, but i don't think it's well done..so ya..gotto brush up on my writing skills again..hahas yea..so ya..(:(:

hmm influenced by rena..had a RUBBISHY dream last night..*sighs* dreamt abt what camp fire...some more got ghost -.- rah...*faints*

agape

shopping

slept too little today..totally tired out man...spent too much on my com already and finally, thank God it's working :):) burner and everything....going to install the rest like mebbe nx week or smth when i'm FREE....yea..nt really free with all those meetings and shoppings and movies..hahas i'm enjoying myself - totally... (: well, enjoyed shopping even tho i'm really really tired...went to buy clothes and stuff for grad TEA -.- act shldn't have buy anything coz my mom already bought me a black 3/4 pants, wanted to just wear that and a t-shirt for tea..hahas it's only tea!! yea, before they changed the theme to IVORY AND EBONY (if ur thinking wad on earth is that? it's white and black) yea..i wanted to just wear what i wore to shatec hahas!! denim skirt and that blouse *yawns* yea..it's only tea..but then bought a dress hahas ya..dress go imagine...yea..*shakes head* linda told me that i only suited t-shirt and jeans..hahas tt was like before i had a total change over...(: so ya, new clothes, new bag, new shoes..hahas

oh yea, met rach, her sis and her mom at OG....hahas mommy!!! oh ya..my grandma hhaas!! <--inside joke

gotto slp early tonight..super tired....*yawns*

agape

y wait till september??party now!!!!

hahaha!2 thumbs up to none other than me..saved my harddisk from another possible crash after 3!!! THREE!!! 3 times i tried to reformat my pathetic 8gb harddisk and it finally work...except that i didn't install the burner incase it does further damage..*sighs* yes..shouzhen saved the day again....*yawns* and i'm this close to hitting the sack..i'm so TIRED..worn out...dead beat...i'm sleepy....bloodshot eyes, dark eye bags...other symptoms? yea...i've got it all..*sighs* i'm tired!!! want to sleep but can't sleep becoz some ppl bothering me online..hahas LSN is already so noisy in sch...what's worse?? having a group conversation on msn....what's worse??? having a music-less atmosphere to entertain my senses...coz y? all my mp3s are in my old harddisk! and to transfer them i need 2 hours!!! *faints* yea..and all of my downloaded movies will be perished coz this hard disk can't hold that much mem...*sighs* but all i need now is a harddisk to listen music and to play games..well for now tt is....

agape

16 2190/03

apparently the three days left of the o's seem to be coming way too fast.yea.and all these strange qns like " what are u going to do after 6pm on fri?" "how are u going to rot ur way to jc?" start coming to my mind and start floodng my mind like my junkmails does to my mailbox.*sighs* yea i panic too much.hahas!!still trying to get a grip of myself after the history paper. i mean like man!if only i studied!*shakes head* shldn't have crapped with rach on the phone last night..hahas!! i'm joking!! ya, girl, if u do put ur hp in the water, do let me know hahas!! *faints* yea.but anyways, that phrase "if only i studied" comes out of my mouth like a billion times every year.so i'm nt surprise if i did say that during the exams earlier this afternoon.man!i was so close to assuring a passing mark for my hist paper.but thank God,at least He gave me 2 qns to choose on for the SEQ.so no worries there,except i was pretty shocked when i did attempt to do the qn on China.what was i thinking? china. cldn't do the german qn coz still reeling from the fear of the prelim paper. hahs. 4/25 for seq.who cld have achieved that? well,all's past now, gotta concentrate on my phy right now. and then i can thinking abt slacking 2mr for amath! *cheers* the thot of slacking. my forte u mean? (:

updates on the condition of my com:well it doesn't seem to be recovering well, getting slower every min, didn't get a chance to check on the amt of mem left. i guess it's the same,only i think there are multiples of multiples of viruses having a summer hol in my harddisk. it's just fine for me to be able to use the net and listen to music and play games like freecell and minesweeper. yea,that's all i can do. can't go on msn tho, hate me if u wish. hahs! i ain't going to touch my old com any more.it's so much slower that this com! blame my impatience if u want =p m going to wait till my exams are way over and format my disk. then i can enjoy the wonders of having a brand new hard disk to play my games (: *cheers* right now, it's no more seeing me online, there's always a time to break my streak (:

agape

*shakes head*

*phew* when was the last time i blogged?? or rather when was the last time my com was working perfectly fine? hahs..anyways, it's not that i'm too lazy to blog rather my com is seriously down..yea..after all the days i've used my com and played and downloaded so much rubbish..it's no surprise that my com's down now..hahas nt really down since i can still use the net and blog..so yea, all my pics and stuff are save...so..i've only to format my com (: and i guess that will be after my exams coz of all the additional drivers needed to be installed..so i won't be online for awhile unless i'm that patient to u use my old com though (: hees...nevertheless, i'll be blogging..i guess..(: just that i won't be online to entertain some ppl...lols

wellwellwell 4 more days! 4!!! whahahahhas....*cheers* i just can't wait for fri 6pm to come..lols just that i haven't finished studying history,phy and chem...*Sighs* hahas that's abt all left and amath....(: *cheers* i can't wait...after that i can concentrate on the zone retreat...yea..been missing alot and i guess they need my help already...yea...hahas...

agape

oh yeah...hahs! i rawk!~

oh yeah i rawk~! hehs...i won't worry my life away~~ (:(:

k if ur wondering where i got that last sentence from? it's from jason mraz's the remedy (:

hah u won't believe what i did this whole morning+afternoon man...spent almost like the whole morning ever since i woke up on my com..wondering what's wrong...nah, the system didn't crash or what...just thank God it was just a virus attack on some system files, that's y cldn't start up..hahs thank God it was just virus attack on the files...coz at least my com won't totally crash...(: hehs....and ya, cld start up in safe mode..so no probs there already..(: and thank God that my sis has her own com...coz w/o her com i think my com wld be like totally sick with virus..hahs and ya, learnt my lesson...nv to dl so much rubbish from the net...too many experiments can just coz all my precious pics and music to disappear just like that..hahas thank God! amen~

hah,ya, one whole day spent fighting the virus, didn't study....if fact, didn't have the mood to study, hahs so yea, i'm sorta memorising the reasons for the rise of the nazis(1921-1933)now..*yawns* read half of failure of communism ytd so dead boring...if ppl didn't have brains, there wldn't be anything for us to study now..*imagine* hahas (: hees...

yea..sylvester shld be out!!!! his presence is just destroying my lao gong's reputation...hahahahhas!!! look at the way he sang an jing ytd...*faints* cmi man.....*shakes head*

i love Jesus that's a fact.

agape

trust

through the eyes
i see the world
the many colours
red,blue or grey
light floods into
the windows of my body
filling every corner
until darkness arrives
gone was the light
that kept my heart alive
burning,choking
that's all i feel
until all i am now
is broken
every piece so sharp
cuts my fingers
till they bleed
trying to put the pieces back
only in vain
because the cracks still remain
i could hope
for the storm to end
till the clouds disappear
and the light comes back
always trusting
on the promise
of the rainbow
right after the flood
always trusting

hitler

hah...wonder y the title? yea...coz i've this feeling that hitler will come out for history paper..ahhas hey! and tt's evidence that i DID study ok..yupyup (:(: right now using my old com...yea..i pretty much dislike the keyboard coz it's like so much harder to type than my present com....but i thank God anyway, coz the sch's com is like 10x worse than this keyboard..hahas ya...and ya, that com takes too long too load with all the additional drivers and stuff, viruses, spywares and what not...so yea, here i am on my old com...nt too much mem here and pretty much mem used up for storing rubbish i guess..hahas

as u can c the entire first para is total crap. so if u did read it, congrats (:(: hahas!! okays....well, today, woke up quite late,(in greeny's dictionary, the word quite means very very very) yea..so i woke up quite late...didn't study the first thing in the morning, which i do usually, becoz i was super awake, as in 150% awake..so i cldn't study hahas *wonders* then went to watch tv..oh..how much i miss my tv set...watched alot of tv shows today coz it's wed!! there's charmed!! oh yea...and nx wk's charmed is so funny...hahas beheaded..lols okays..then wasted precious sms,time and money on rena chan, didn't study until after lunch...until she smsed again to play pool -.-" and i ended up only writing the notes for stalin and spent time spotting qns...hahas which wasn't much help...only managed to confirm, i guess, nazi germany and the china after the fall of the qing dynasty....yea..and perhaps, communist china too...yea..tt's all i gather..hahas...

and yea, after all these time, i finally can play internet mulmtiplayer games without the risk of my com hanging...yea, i know some ppl don't believe that my com does hang when i play games like solitaire showdown or even yahoo pool or wad...but yea, i've a witness..don't believe u can ask rena, she spents half the time playing games with me, waiting for my com to restart and load, restart and load again until i get fed-up hahas!! yea..finally!! i can get to play pool....and not hanging...yea, and i'm not going to discredit my best friend!! hahas!! thankew!! (: even though she always claims i'm jealous everytime i play with her...*shrugs* jealous of wad la!!!!! ur lazy prince william??? LOLS

hmmm..well yeaa..if u want to know which miraculous webbie it is that doesn't affect my com, feel free to ask me, that is if i'm using my com hahas..yea (:

well, finally after 5 days or rather 2 weeks of slacking, i'm back on track and ready to fight the rest of the battle...almost finished reading phy (:(: i so am scoring that a1 for mr pandian...*sighs*

'the stars can neither love nor laugh, nor weep. they can only shine, and they shine indifference on our joy and woe.'

agape

I cried for my brother 6 times

I cried for my brother 6 times. I was born in a secluded village of a mountain. Days by days my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs facing the sky. I have a younger brother, 3 years younger than me. Once, to buy a handkerchief which all girls around me seemed to have, I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father knew about it right away. He made my younger brother and me kneeled against the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand. ''Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Father didn't hear any of us admit, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!" He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked on my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learnt to steal from your own house now, what other embarrassing things you will do in the future?? You should be beaten to death! You a shameless thief!" That night, mother and I hugged my brother. His body full of injuries, but he didn't shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened." I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I had done. Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old; I was 11 years old.

When my brother was in his last year of his lower secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a province's university. That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet. I could hear him say, "Both our children have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said, "Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means that I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you both finish your study!" And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as soft as I can to my brother's swollen face, and said, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to leave this depths of poverty." Me, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study to university. Who knows on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to the side of my bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, get into an university is not easy. I will go find a job and send money to you." I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.

With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at construction site, finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. One day, I was studying in my room, when my roommate came in and told me , "There's a villager wait for you outside!" Why was there a villager looking for me? I walked out, and saw my brother from afar, His whole body was dirty, covered by dust, cement and sands. I asked him, "Why don't you tell my roommate that you are my brother?" He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they know that I am your brother? Don't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes.I swept away dusts from my brother's body. And said with a lump in my throat, " I don't care of what people say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?" From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He wore it on me, and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.

The first time I brought my boyfriend home, the broken window had been repaired. And it looked so clean inside the house. After, my boyfriend went home, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you don't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she said with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He was injured while replacing the window." I went into my brother's small bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I put some ointment on his wound and bandaged it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when I was working in the construction site, stones falling on my feet all the time. Even that could not stop me from working?" In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolling down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Very often, my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they didn't know what to do. My brother also didn't agree, he said, "Sis, you just taking care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mum and dad here." My husband became the director of his factory. We wanted my brother to get the job as the manager in the department of maintenance. But, my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on starting to work as a repair worker. One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him. Looked at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject to be a manager? Manager will not do something dangerous like this. Look at you now, such a serious injury. Why you didn't want to listen to us?" With a serious expression on his face, he defended on his decision, "Think of brother-in-law? He just became the director, and I almost uneducated. If I became the manager, what kind of rumors will fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education also because of me!" "Why talking about the past?" My brother held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.

My brother was 30 years old when he married a farm girl from the village. In his wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one you respect and love the most?" Without thinking, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in different village. Everyday, my sister and I walked for 2 hours to go school and go home. One day, I lost one of my pair of gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She only wore one glove and walked for so far. When we got home, her hand was so trembled because of the weather that was so cold that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and be good to her." Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attentions to me. Words were so hard to come out from my mouth, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank the most is my brother," And in this happy occasion, in front of the crowd, tears rolled down my face again. Love and care for the one you love every single day of your life. You may think that what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it means alot

08 4017/02

hahs..finally it's the BIG BREAK!!!!!! *cheers*

ok...i have to admit..i haven't been studying at all..i've really gotto start burying myself underneath some text books..soon...and i think 2mr morning's a gd start..yups..hahas

had ushering in church ytd...so had to go church early...yups..all went well even though only 4 ushers turned up..hahas *faints* after that was the last lesson on CET!!! *cheers* hahas...yea....then later there was supposed to be saturation...but turned out only 1 stack of pamplets left so the guys daniel, lebbeus they all went to do...hahas then the girls went to have lunch (: lols didn't eat lunch ytd coz i was too tired...wonder y im so tired these few days like my energy's all drained...*sighs* been sleeping alot so lack of sleep is definitely nt a factor...yea..i wonder y *sighs* heh...and it's definitely not becoz of the o's...ahahs i think i'm the most slack student ever to have taken o's...*faints* everyone else is studying and look at me..slacking all the way...deb even has to sms me and scold me and make me promise that i'll study hard..yea..i hafta study hard..*wake up girl*

hmms....read cold war on sat and ytd..hahas cld rmb a little so ya...tt's gd coz usually i don't rmb much abt hist..and hist's like nx wk? wonder y im starting on it now..*wonders* hahas but anyways, have to read my amath and phy and chem soon also..hahas BIG BREAK!! *cheers* after nx week and that awful day of chem which ends at 6..*sighs* i'm so going to be free! ahhas

everyone else at home has a new phone...except me..so sad..hahas but nvm..i've got to wait another 5 more mths b4 my plan ends..*sighs* after that i want to get the sony ericsson phone!!!*wails*

just realize my com is rotting too...storing rubbish for nth...gotto clear it up soon b4 the rubbish eats up my com....lols

agape

ho-hum

well well...it's been like 2 days already since i last updated my blog, 2 days of math paper so nth much to complian abt, or comment on..hahas yea, the paper were fine, so ya, i'm speechless abt it. well, i wldn't say i was prepared or wasn't scared for the 2 math paper, but thank God...really, everything went fine (: yups...what can i expect man...w/o paying much attention on my math and studying other subjs, i still can't guarentee an A hahas...yea, but thank God really. (: well another 1 more day and i'm gonna have my big break!! *cheers* mugging break that is..hahas yea, gotta really study....been slacking, i mean slacking, for like almost a week already ever since the ss paper ended...slacking during o's..man, imagine that hahas...record-breaking feat i must say... lols well, gotta really study hard this time. broke my streak this morning when i read 2 chpts of hist! hahs! *cheers* yea..slept super early last night, so woke up like super early this morning and read history, in the morning. lols so totally tired ytd, literally bored to tears and bored to tiredness...*faints* yea, i was that bored.

yes! i've also decided to format my old harddisk..hahs...it's nt big, just 8gb...but i think shld be enuff for games (: yea, gonna format my old harddisk just to play games..hahas i've dug up alot of old cds from my cd cupboard...yea, gonna really have a gaming marathon after o's hahas i am so looking forward to it (:(: yea, some cd's i've nt even touched it at all last time...prob due to age difference..hahas what i used to be interested last time doesn't really appeal to me now..like cartoon making, card making, right now it's just gaming gaming and more gaming...hahas..yea..contradictory that im a girl yea, but it's just a past time right? i still like shopping and hanging out...(:(: but no zoo pls!!!! no zoo!!!!! lols

well, ppl have been asking me time and time again what do i want in life. nah...it's nt ur usual friendster bulletin survey qn. but seriously, what do u want in life?

yea for some, it's good grades,good education,good paper work...what u want life, might indirectly be what ur living for. after all these goals are achieved there won't be anything to live for. sad. like they always say:learning is a never ending journey. u'll always have smth to learn and yea, so mebbe, that purpose in life to get smarter and smarter will never end, some how.

living my life, it's already been 16 odd years....yet sometimes i do not know what i want in life. nah, it's nt a good 'o'lvl cert.it's nt a good job.sometimes, it's just plain living for God, otherwise, it's just *blank* huh? what am i doing on earth?

yea but now i know. i'm not greedy. i just want other ppl to have happy lives. kinda fairy-take-like yea? it's so hard-achieving..prob i'll nv achieve that at all..tt's y i'm still alive. (:

agape

03 1127/1/2

hah....finally~ english paper is over...now i get to rest my imagination....and what's up with the compo??? it's like all the qns are so alien to me...ok..argumentative is a no-no for me...what? discuss on what issue? i always end up talking rubbish...so what's the pt of attempting the qn...hahs and flight.....what's flight??? everytime i look at the word, it somehow morphes into some weird character i know not of...ended up doing the argument qn..not my forte...but ya, i did attempt it...i was hoping of qns with happy endings, nice stories....not smth horrible...but ya, all this drama-writing here has served me well...my story turned out to be dramatic, and, i hope, not drastic...hahas..but oh wells..all's end... (:

well, as soon as i came home, cldn't stop pigging until now..ahhas i haven't stopped eating since my exams started...like i'm so addicted to eating....-.- rahhh!!! *sighs* spent like countless hours reading lime and teens, so interesting...coz it's prom issue..hahs..nice clothes, nice assessories, nice-looking ppl...hahaas what's more? there's toro! lols *faints* but ya..

just stared at the tv screen....supposed to be practising math, but ya...i hope i do well for 2mr's paper...gotto sleep early..math's a too impt subj not to do well for...coz it's the only 2 subjs i can count on hahas...and there's charmed today!!!! *cheers* finally i can watch some tv..hahas it's days like these that i find cna interesting to watch..lols (: but seriously, it's interesting..esp the morning news..lols

well..gtg practise some math..and my mom wants to c me studying history...oh hitler, oh hitler....0.o

agape

02 2190/1

hah! no more ss~ cheers!~ well, thank God what i studied came out, thank God that i cld roughly crap through the paper but oh wells ahahs what's over is over. (:(: oh how i love that phrase...hahas well, venice didn't come out!! rahhh if only it came out hahs...but oh wells..ya..and what's with that penguin in the picture?!!??! what's a penguin doing in the middle of sheep? huh?? but ya..hahas *faints* i can slack for another week!!! whahahahahas nah..still have paper for the rest of the week but ya...o's didn't turn out to be as scary as it wld be and i'm like slacking throughout the whole thing...even worse than what i was doing during prelims..hahas oh wells...going to play gunbound and then study later on..i hope...ya...have to study greeny's notes..

come to think of it...alan's right...u don't have to study for o's and yet pass..but doing well's another thing hahas...don't really like studying, in fact, don't want to study, but ya..that's the only thing i can do for God, that is the least....oh yeah, if God says it's impt, it's impt...even though i can just fail o's and end up somewhere unknowned...but ya..chinese's so over hahas!! *cheers!*

hahs! i've collected so many postcards already..thanks to joanne...i'm telling u,rena,she exists!!! else return me postcard!! whahahs...*faints* but ya...so many postcards ahhas so nice...(:(: lala~~

my shield, my strength, my portion, deliver, my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need

agape~

01 1111/1/2

hah i live!

oh yeah...first paper and we had to have hcl to kick off...not really a good choice but wise indeed...hahs because after today, chinese no longer liveth!!! whahahahas~~ *faints* ya, though it was an easy subject to study, except for english,math,chem,physics, i'm so glad it's all over..hahas higher chinese...oh man..the paper wasn't as difficult as the ones nh set...but ya, not confident that i'll pass it but ya, it's all in God's hands (:(: the is the first hcl paper that i cld crap thru the zao ju and that i cld understand all 3 qns of the zuo wen..hahas so glad that there wasn't any narrative...coz i didn't read any stories..hahas but oh wells..all's well ends well...(: Amen!

and yes..i broke my record of reading one ci yu shou ce in a night. i spent abt 1½hr and finished reading sec 4 ci yu shou ce..ahahs record breaking man..but ya, as i said i hope i will never ever have to read chinese ever again..but judging from past experience...God, please don't let me study chinese in JC?

hah rained super heavy today, had to take 2 buses and mrt to get home -.- what a weather....rahhh...no pt having a near-by sch that doesn't offer the same bus services as ur house...no pt...u can't take bus home on rainy days esp when u don't have an umbrella...hahs and that made jinling and i promise to bring umbrella everyday..*sighs*

all the best for 2mr's paper ppl!

oh how i love Jesus, because He first loved me

agape