the beginning...

it's only the beginning. the worst has yet to come...

orientation finale. it was AWESOME. i totally miss the first orientation finale when we had so much fun man. it was super fun. just like today, except that today's finale was in the hall. i think ppl complained that we were too noisy or smth during the first orientation that they shifted us to the hall.haha.we danced in the dark, on the track at the gallery during the first orientation. it was cool and fun (: cool as in literally cool, erm. windy. haha! the hall was hot and humid. haha.

k. back to this column i update regularly abt the irritating ppl in my class. haha! ok la i'm mean. i really hope this column here wld close down.i must stop being mean. k. i realized that the prcs(esp the girls) love to wear tight-fit uniforms. like -_-'' CMI la.

haha! another one! when we were playing treasure hunt today, we were supposed to form this line with our shoes and stuff. then we had to step on the stuff to get to the other side. then we didn't have enough to reach the end pt. so one prc girl from my class took out a tube of sunblock from her shorts pockets. ROFL! the funny thing wasn't the tube of sunblock. the funny thing was that she took out sunblock! what else did she have inside her pockets?! HAHAHHA!! kk im being v mean. haha

k then there's this difference between the light and the dark. the light skirts are super long. the dark skirts are super short. haha! *shrugs* then the light got sunblock, sunglasses, caps, the dark got hankerchief. haha. wow. interesting man. i almost laughed until i peng when she took out the sunblock. haha!! oh wells...

k i shan't be mean anymore. we learnt a new mass dance today. a very short one. and we danced it only like for an hour? haha. after learning and everything. yups then i saw monkey (: heees.. oh ya! i sat at monkey's cg's table in the cafe during lunch (:(: hee hee! raymond was so smart to choose that place. haha! ya. then i had lunch with weiping, raymond, thiri and zheyin and abandoned s14 haha!! and my normal classmates were complaining that the scholars just stoned and stared at each other. haha!

erm. then during the mass dance, marie, for no reason, kept kicking the wrong leg, then we ended up kicking each other legs -_-'' cmi la. haha! then it was v funny. the dance wasn't funny, but marie and i danced until it was so funny we cldn't stop laughing, or was it i cldn't stop laughing? haha!

hmm then finale, i was dancing with the band members. why ah? i also donno. but one of the most time i spent in sajc was marie and anita. ya. so like im not in band but i know like alot of band ppl. haha! sajc band ppl are nice.

k to conclude, i really love sajc. but i hate the irritating ppl in my class. actually dark is not so bad, just that i don't like light (:

lesson learnt

i started complaining already the moment i knew i wasn't in s31. and now, i shall continue.

i woke up with a weird feeling. yea, the aching and all that, my mom had to call me like a million times before i finally forced myself to wake up. but that wasn't the weird feeling. it was this strange dream i had. no, i didn't dream abt monkey. i'd be sick if i dreamt abt him TWICE. but ya, it was so clear and i cld almost feel it like it was real. rather it was coz coincidentally my mom shook me tt's y i cld feel smth. oh wells....

i went to sch sad. haha happy at first. coz i took the 6.50 bus, i reached sch early. half asleep. then anita and san were pointing towards weiquan, so i thot he asked them where i was coz i asked him to pass me geog notes coz ytf happily threw them away and rena was in need of those papers. haha. ya. then haha. haha. lols. nvm. so lsn. =D

then we had to line up according to our classes, but thank God s21 was just beside my class. i think w/o weiping i am as gd as dead. no one to talk to, rather w/o raymond i'd just stone and dao everyone else in my class...and everyone wld say that "hey u looked rather dao in last yr. but now u look so crazy." sounds familiar? hahas.

yea. then kingdom time we got to know our names and stuff. i think og9 at that time was so much MORE FUN. not to mention, i had more fun with og11 than s14. i miss s31 totally man. i just wished they wld like force them to take the same combi in the same sch from 1st intake onwards. *sob* oh wells..but i got to know a few normal girls in my class. (: like yilin, shane(girl) and jiaying, but jiaying was my pri sch classmate. hah. i didn't bother to know the names of the scholars. can't be bothered. they looked irritating.

anyways, i had my fair share of laughter when we had to go to lt4. i saw this prc carrying an umbrella while walking up the slope. like -_-'' hallooo? *faints* and they love to wear their socks and shoes. they can't wear their shoes w/o their socks. when we were playing station games outside, they wld get ready their caps, sunblock and sunglasses. not even shades. sunglasses. prob they wld have also sprayed their repellents and stuff. but im being mean here.

it was kinda fun getting to know the EIGHT normal ppl in my class. because for the rest, either they were too dark or too light. and if u get it gd, if u don't, too bad. the normal ppl in my class are act quite cool and they aren't nerds. well, haven't really seen them in action yet, but i pray that they won't be nerds. the prcs and scholars are bad enough. i need normal ppl. normal ppl like me to be my classmates. else i'd just drop comp and take econs and go to weiping's class. since her class is so much more enthu. and they have more normal ppl.

for so long, suffering with chinese, like i have a phobia of chinese -.- finally i can escape, but no! prcs in my class...abt 8? *wails* like hello? i didn't do well for my o's. hello? y scholars in my class? y dont just make s11 a scholar class?! y s14?! ya, 5 100s passed before 51 came. like -_-" but anyways, i was happy to board the bus. the aircon was allright. BUT. this grp of CHINA men boarded and they were talking so loudly. i almost cried on the bus.

i really can't stand chinese. esp chinese with the slang. ahhhh!! i think im going crazy. but ya, God told me this: if i can't stand chinese, the enemy can just put me in a cell with 1 talkative china person and i'd die of madness that night. whio the enemy is i don't know lah. but it sounded so true. so useless of me to just die in front of 1 talkative mad china man. so cmi.

i cld have just complained my way thru j1 and not knowing how much wrong i was doing, but God made me realize my mistake early. so early.

double blessings

and to think i almost spent the whole night wrecking my brains to come out with a petition.

granny came my house ytd to stay for the night. haven't seen her for a long time already.yups. ahah act i see her like every week.but ya. oh wells. she hasn't stayed overnight for v long already. (:(:

today was a happy day (: haha in fact a gd day (: but a super tiring one tho. but the day started out well when rena told me her appeal got thru and she cld study in sa =D haha! to think i hung up on her TWICE. LOLS sorry girl. i was having civics and the teacher was standing right in front of me. worse still we weren't supposed to have our phones with us, lest it be confiscated. -.- ah wells...teachers...

the happiness hasn't even begun yet! haha. rena told me she wasn't able to get into a hist and math class and had to take geog. but that's not the happy part. ytf threw away his geog notes just ytd and i offered to ask monkey for his geog notes!! =D ain't that the happy part?? haha!!! (: ya. but my happiness has nt ended...he told me that his appeal was successful and he's coming back 2mr! (:(: hahahahaha!! and i was happily umchioing the whole day. lols. so cmi. at least rena gets her geog notes =/ lols

ya. then we had to make a vehicle to carry thru the 'challenge' ya. it didn't sound fun initially but we had fun tho, running SIX rounds of the track. honestly i think they wanted us to run 2.4 from the start. -.- but besides the rounds, we had to do pushups, crunches, burpees, monkey bar. HAHA monkey bar! LOLS. ya.

oh. and before that i knew my class, who my classmates were and what class i wld be in. i was so irritated by the fact that there wasn't a class opened for S31. and there were only 5 ppl taking computing. sad right? i counted 5.hopefully there wld be more. worse i found out that there was a PRC taking computing!!!! ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! i seriously was v angry. like i suffered 10 yrs, mind u 10 yrs of HIGHER CHINESE. and why do i have to face china ppl when all of a sudden i don't have to take chinese anymore???!!! that's like so infurating. u won't understand me when it comes to chinese. *sigh*

s14. im so sad s31 wasn't even open. nt even 10 ppl wanted to take computing. why?? why is everybody taking pcme?? like there are 9 classes...why not just take 2 ppl from every class and s31 will be formed again. aiya. i'll just have to accept that fact that i'll be hating my class for the 2 yrs. i wanna change combi. weiping and i agreed to changed to s91 if the sch accepts our appeal. that is double math, phy and hist/geog. meaning exchanging econs with fmath. ya. we both wanna take that. haha (: but xuezhen told me it's not possible. but oh wells. no harm trying. (:

then after the whole couse ended, the finale was that we were supposed to form the words SAJC'05 on the field. aww poor field. haha but it was v hot i was super bored. on my right, i saw this guy with dark coloured long pants. i don't know his sch, but he was sitting on a piece of white paper, meant to be used for the formation. obviously he was afraid to dirty his long DARK pants. so sissy lah. like c'mon. the girls also can't be bothered. mind u, this is when i was so irritated with the prc.

beside me was a prc. and she was complaining like how hot it was and why we had to do this formation. so irritating. i just don't like prcs. that's me. but thank God for weiping. haha we were like entertaining ourselves with the tokens,from the funfair, on the field. tossing them. like some children who has lost their childhood. haha. ya. then k. i think if i really choose to take the odd combi, i'll be abandoning raymond, with the prc, in s14. haha. oh wells...

initially i said today was a happy day. it was. we had fun during the 'challenge' and after that, erm, we had fun too, coz it was the end of induction!!!!! =D so happy man. all the torture's gone. 2mr's orientation by the council. (: looking forward to it. hope it'll be good (: lols.

was talking to yuhui on the phone earlier. like i haven't been talking on the phone for ages. rather, like we haven't talked for ages. haha. so nice to just talk to ur friends. (: i miss everyone man. i miss 4/5, i miss og9, i miss s31. i miss u all man. esp s31. i wished we didn't have to split and go our separate ways ): now im stuck in this horrid class. i just pray that there wldn't be anymore scholars or prcs. no more. pls...

to think i missed u when u looked for me.

dying...

to have God to answer ur prayers,u need to be a christian. to be a christian, u need to make God ur personal Lord and Saviour. to make God ur personal Lord and Saviour, u need to count ur cost. counting ur cost means to really know what u are in for when u accept Christ.

today was the first day of orientation. i didn't want to go to sch at all. but ya, i just went. IN CASE it wld be totally fun. BUT NO! it wasn't fun, wasn't interesting, wasn't nice. only thing fun was that ex-og9 kept talking and laughing loudly in the lt during the talks. and the teacher there kept asking us to keep quiet. yea. and that was THE ONLY fun part. with no food, no money and no phone, i almost dieded of boredom. totally.

ya. but then at 12, smth happened. my stomach began to feel v weird. ya. so weird i think i made the right choice to leave sch early. (: yaa..else i think i'd have dieded in sch. and i realised my ogtutor is mrs praeman and not mrs raymond. -.- so cmi. but ya. i got a green slip and went with marie to the dentist coz of her gums. ya. we took cab coz her mom offered to pay. haha!

then ate lunch at the hawker centre there and greedy marie ate ice kachang and jwee kuei. laughed at silly things like my plate flying -.- i almost laughed until got stitches. then i rmbed my stomach was pain. then pain was like mad lah. shifted from left to right to centre -.- then spent like an hour at the dentist. laughing at silly things again. with marie wad can u do besides laughing? erm.. laughing some more? after dentist ate egg tart. nice (: then marie paid for cab fare home. hees. (:

ok. stomach still feeling weird. it's not that i'm hungry or wad. just weird. if im hungry, i'd be a pig already lah. ate so much still hungry. cmi.

came home and talked to ashley online. haha. i miss u girl. haha miss ur laughter and ur crappiness and ur wadeva rubbish. still can't imagine u in vj uni. lols and i ain't gonna lend u my uni!! =p

haha still can't imagine i dreamt of monkey last night. mebbe i've been thinking too much abt ppl dying. haha. not that monkey died. but i saw him at a hospital. haha. no link lah! so lame some more. like...so cmi.

i just hope 2mr will be a better day. will it?

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

i wish i were still in 4/5. then we can go wcp and scream out loud.

i was out whole day until 9. not a normal sunday for me. coz usually i'll be home by 7 on sundays. (: haha act 2 hours doesn't make much a diff. ya. reason was that my mom's uncle passed away. so went singapore casket to attend the wake. was super smoky and all that. coz buddhist funeral. or is it taoist? *shrugs* ya. then was v smoky. my eyes were tearing.

erm ya. then my uncle and aunt were discussing the issue: religion. my uncle told me smth 'shocking' ya. but he refuse to tell others. it's like smth to be worth telling others so that others won't jump into conclusions. but ya. i think i kinda understand y he chose not to. and it's like a secret i'll rmb for life. haha other secrets i just remember it for a few mins and out of my brain it goes. that's y i don't really tell ppl secrets. coz i've forgotten them all. haha. but this is different. it's like smth that'll be etched in my mind forever.

i just don't understand. why do i have to like attend a wake every month. like what's so nice to die in 2005? i was prepared for this wake in the sense that hmm i've already know of at least 6 ppl who passed away since the beginning of the yr. so like i have no more energy to feel sad.

oh ya. i almost fell to my death in church. when running down to the foyer, coz i needed to prepare the counter for the ushers, i tripped over 5 steps. i almost fell flat. lucky no one impt was there so i didn't like make a fool of myself. haha but that's not the main point. haha. b4 i fell to my almost death, God like kinda warned me that i'd fall. HAHA! but i was running too fast i cldn't stop. if i'd stopped i'll be lying in sgh now LAH. then i tripped haha. but thank God i survived the fall. LOLS. ok i sound so cmi now. i thot the curse was over. it came back to haunt me. JO!!!!! it's all ur fault!

right. fri cell is starting on april fools'. wad a day to start. and i gotta share. i think today's sharing was horrible. due to last min preparation. oh God. help me. i seriously need to think twice abt my cca. i want another slack cca. slacker than cisco. then i'll have more time for my ministries. and so i decided not to touch MM for another 5 more yrs? until i finish my studies and maybe work fulltime in church (:

i don't want to go to sch 2mr. i want to sleep at home and rot.

cursed

the curse is back. first it haunted jo, then it came to haunt me.

oh wells..it's not exactly a curse either. just that jo was v unlucky ytd, on good friday. why? haha. and ya, today, i kept tripping and falling, slipping over steps. -.- not that i don't on normal days but today was exceptionally frequent. yea. *shrugs* but ah wells. it doesn't really bother me.

finally i kinda finish my church stuff. except that i received an email from ps rachel and i almost freaked out. literally.

nx wk's orientation. i wonder how im' going to even survive that 2 days of pe. -.- wed and thurs won't be that bad. in fact, i'll miss og9 1st intake after orientation. and its back to the lecture timetables. oh yes. one day og, one day cg, i'll miss og9 on thurs and i'll be FORCED to blend with the NERDS in my class. *sigh* ok, i don't even know who will even come to s31 or what will happen on thurs. i just hope it'll be as fun as the 1st 3 months that everyone DIDN'T look nerdy and they were cool ppl (:(: honest. oh ya, there'll be ramona too. and he ain't a nerd. haha! raymond! aren't u happy to see this?

i'll be sleeping soon. so soon. i just have to......

oh and did i mention that the imini looks like a toy?

new com! *cheers*

im using xp to blog

my dad bought a new com. compaq presario. win xp. HOME. yea. but he said the only diff was that pro cld create server. but since i have no interest in networking, and sad to say i spent 4 yrs in cisco rotting, haha might as well buy the home edition. since it's cheaper.

well. for those who have been to my house, u'll be wondering where in my house wld the new com be. ahha. well, right now, it's directly infront of the jvc tv in the living rm. directly as in abt 50cm? yups. it's in the middle of nowhere. haha! yups. and dad said that this com cld be pushed to any corner of the house. nice.

went miramar hotel for lunch buffet with my granny and aunts and uncles. only audrey's family didn't turn up. coz aunty karen had some stomach probs. ya. and i ate alot. i don't know why but recently i've been eating alot. haha and alot means alot. *ponders* but oh wells..im nt eating dinner. i think i've been full since like a few days ago. im just stuffing myself with food. haha. why?

gonna start on preparing word after i finish bathing. haha.

good friday (:

i remembered vaguely pearlie and weisheng came to my church on gd friday last yr. or was it easter sunday?

im not supposed to be online this moment. but i have to send ps rachel what we did for meeting today. so ya. i'm stuck. and ya, i got a whole lot of stuff to complete tonight. *yawn*

gd fri svc was gd (: made me realize smth. that all along i've been complaining and doing nth. i decided to take up the cross and follow Jesus. so y am i complaining? it's like u feel so vibrant for God and the nx thing u know, u've lost it. coz u didn't know what to do with it.

i just feel like sleeping my days away.

im nt exactly stressed. stress has been part of my life. believe it. just that i don't see why ppl r pressuring me to worry abt things i don't have to. worry is nt an option. i hate worrying. if Jesus wld take me away this instant i'd be so free from all these crap. but apparently not. the only time He'll take me away is when His work thru me on earth is done and i don't think it's even gone far. either that or the 2nd coming of Christ.

i took the north south line again with jiajia after meeting. from marina bay to je. yea. act, it was from church to clementi. but i took the whole ns line and arrived at clementi by the longer route. haha.

dad bought the incredibles vcd. jack-jack is so cute (:

full

just finished dinner. erm. i mean like 1hr ago. haha. i feel so full...

today went to sch, didn't go for lessons coz it was all the introductory lectures and all that. will be taking the same combi, so i didn't have to attend. as in, i didn't need and want to attend. haha yups. but anyways, sch's pretty much always like that ever since they started giving that 1 wk break after the o lvl results were released. haha.

went to the band rm to help rena practise her trombone,cornet and eupho. eupho? =/ hmms. ya. in the end she decided on cornet. yea. haha it was allright for me coz im nt a band member and i know nuts abt how she's supposed to sound like. so marie and anita were giving her comments on the way. think her audition was quite ok. *shrugs*prays*

yea. then i decided to ask marie to teach me how to play the eupho. and she didn't teach me. instead she asked addison to teach me. haha but she looked like she was dying anyways. ya. but shouzhen = cmi. so ya. my blowing was horrible. haha! i can only play do re me fa so la. so cmi. lols. and i was like going to faint after 15min of playing. no oxygen in my brain. lols. but it was kinda cool and fun to play the eupho. (:(: might consider joining band. might. haha. oh ya. i think i really cmi. i blowed until i my throat got sore. -.- after eating kfc. i have this feeling that i'm going to have a bad sore throat 2mr. o. then i'll be superly quiet during meeting again 2mr.

m so tired. i got a whole list of stuff waiting for me to complete. got to do immediately after i finish blogging and tagging. which means now.

stressed

this is getting no where.

all of a sudden i feel so stressed. i don't even know why i am stressed. i got into sa. so no probs with sch. i can pretty much cope with my studies. and w/o cca and 2 wks w/o lessons, no probs there too. i get along well with my frens, no relationship probs.

church's all right. i'm able to prepare word by fri night for sun's cell and prepare cell schedule. how much brain power do i need to prepare cell schedule? zilch. word shld be all right since i've been doing it for months now already. youth anni meeting hasn't really taken flight. nth really much for me to do yet.

don't tell me what i'm stressed abt here is me nt getting enough sleep? that's dumb. -_-'' arggghhhh! but ya. i just have this tingling feeling in me that is stressing me. man...

today's the first day of sch for 2nd-intakers. no orientation yet. just the usual subj talk and what not. they did the same thing on the first day of sch for 1st-intake. super boring. i was so bored i smsed rena and weiquan. all right. the situation in their schs weren't that gd either.

rena was criticising everything in jj. like how rubbish the talks were. haha. she had like 7 talks in a row before having a break at 1?

yea. and weiquan said nj was nt nice, nt fun and boring. haha! i wonder how jo survived thru her 1st 3 months man. guess the ppl there are as boring and nerddish as her. =/ lols.

sa wasn't that bad. at least i cld joke with my og mates. so sad. og9 was split into og10 and og11. *sigh* but we stayed together during break and in the lt too. (:

after sch went nh for lunch. sansan had np anyways. came home and bought green apple ice. saw pearlie on the way home. then ya, there was this house on fire near my flat. i think it's the first time i've ever seen a house on fire after this 17 yrs of my life. sad right. and it's nt really a fire either. cldn't see the flames and everything. all i cld see was black fumes polluting the air.

i wasn't hungry. just stressed probably. or u wld like to call it tiredness. then i cooked. hah. i realized that when im stressed, i find cooking so fun and attractive. i didn't cook a 9 course meal or what. just took some jap chicken from the freezer and cook..seaweed chicken..ya. wanted to fry egg but mom needed the eggs for dinner. ya. my cooking improved. now my food tastes edible (: think in time to come i'll be frying noodles or smth. that's if im that stressed. haha!

bye monkey

ytd was the last day for the 1st intakers who were nt staying in sa. that means monkey too. yups. initially thot he'd stay in sa, becoz of his choices, then ya, everything was fine. then who knows now he got into another sch. sad lah. haha. will miss him ALOT man.. (:(:

woke up at 8. i asked mom to wake me up at 7. haha but unsuccessful. obviously. someone made me stay up until 1am in the morning. why? to laugh at me -.- haha! ya. so 6 hours ain't enough for me. until someone kept calling at 8. mom said it was her. haha then i was FORCED to wake up. yea. else i'd be lazing in bed until 3pm. was so tired. then at 815, went online to check my posting results. wasn't surprised or anything. i was still in slumberland. yea. half-awake.

then all of lsn came online except rena, who happily blocked all of us coz we were too noisy. haha i think the only noisy one was sansan. birthday girl somemore. early in the morning. so noisy. haha. in the end, we decided to pay rena chan a visit. coz she refused to ans our calls, reply our sms.

walked all the way to her door step and she refused to ans the door! tau huay w/o syrup refused! haha. yea. when we finally walked all the way out and took a cab to sch, she called marie saying she was at home -.- yea. haha then went sch to wait for her. i saw mrs tan, mr yit and ms tan. what can be worse? haha. oh wells.

after that decided to go buy uniform at telok blangah. met weiquan on the bus. haha. didn't expect to see him there. then later, we went chinatown to get the skirt. and met him there again! haha! nt that he went to buy uni, but coz his classmates(all the girls) were buying uniforms. yea. he got into nj. but he didn't sound happy. *shrugs* haha i don't know why but i keep seeing him since ytd. met him on the way to sch coz his bus was infront of mine, then met him in the cafe, then today see him again. haha. oh wells. but he's really a nice person (: gonna miss him even tho i know him only for like 2 months? haha. yea. (: and of coz will miss all my ex-cg mates too. (:(:

and ya, my og mates changed :( so sad. what's worse? monkey's nt staying. so so so so sad. unless he tells me that he's appealing to sa then i'll be super happy man. haha. but im too tired to wait for him. so tired. and there's sch 2mr. arrgghhh!!

went orchard to eat swensens. ate chicken baked rice (: yumyum. ate my calamari!!! YAYE! HAHA! going to eat calamari again soon. hehs. but my voice is going to be gone. then took neoprints at heeren. haha but someone wasn't there. so sad. lols. took 143 home. guess who i saw on the bus? david yeo from SI. hah. 2nd time i saw him already. but seriously, i was so so so so so tired, i slept on the bus. haha. he sat nx to me but i cldn't be bothered with him lah. lol. the 1st time i saw him at cornerstone he was so dao. still rem my cousin's reaction. haha! so cmi.

all rights. im going to sleep now. im so tired. i almost dieded at orchard. haha sansan!it's all ur fault! haha! but anyways, happy birthday girl (:

AGAIN

no lsn online AGAIN. i mean, not only lsn isn't online, the rest of the world's nt online either. what's going on?

guess lotr hasn't end yet. one possibility: block test. but i don't have many j2 frens. another one: 2mr's jae posting results. many are getting the fits? nah. that is a lame reason. haha oh wells.

just finished my part of san's birthday present. to think her birthday's 2mr and i just finished painting. *yawn* yea. and rena's supposed to get the presents from me and paint at home but she's no where in sight. neither is she replying my sms. *sigh* and she isn't online to send me san's pictures either. seriously, where has the rest of the world gone to???!

didn't go for any lessons today. mr fong met me in the cafe. haha. but he didn't mind, weiping told me they did some lame stuff during phy. lols. yea. didn't spend the last day with my class today. only 7 of us came. at least better than the day o's was released. 3 of us turned up. even dr chua didn't come. -.-

but anyways, lsn took photos. walked ard taking more photos. left sch at 1245. (even tho my lesson today officially ends at 1630) went ikea to buy presents for san san. supposedly we wanted to buy A present then we ended up buying 3. haha. oh wells. saw my aunt at ikea. so surprising. haha. didn't go visit hadley coz she only came home at 6. yups. that's y i was free.

someone was scolding me in the afternoon. kept sneezing after i alighted at queensway.

wheEee~

it's finally the end of the week (: and yes, it's back to sch. and my supposedly-hot-water ain't hot. *sighs*

*yawn* im tired now. church was great (: it's always great to be in church (: hehs. nth cld be better than being in church. nt even sleeping man, im tellin ya.

the whole zone 2a gang didn't go home together coz after 3+9 training, they all went for eunice's grandma's wake. yups. i didn't go coz i was wearing orange and i cldn't go either: there's sch 2mr and mom won't let me go home late on sundays. yea. besides, dinner was waiting at the table for me. lols

went home with cherie and cherie's sis, jaslyn. coz cherie has block test 2mr. haha. elit. lols. yups. then on the mrt, i was sitting beside this guy, then he started talking to me. he kinda asked me qns which i myself nv really thot of like my future and stuff. yea. the future, i said, to me was just a black space. but i think, after today, i see some light in my future (: haha! yeaahh~

as i was saying, this guy. haha. nt a handsome one, pretty middle-aged, dont worry he ain't a stalker or anything. man, i'm blessed with God's angels to protect me okay? yea. he's a social worker. christian too. yups, we just talked until the train reached clementi.

it wasn't until i boared the bus home that i realized, hey, did God really answered my prayer? yea, and my prayer was that "...God, what is Your will in my life? What's my calling? please give me an obvious clue..." haha. it sounds silly esp the 'give me an obvious answer' but yea, that was my prayer. haha. but still i want another obvious clue to whether that was really my calling. i mean, it's nt everyday u sit beside a social worker and he tells so many stories to u right? haha

why social worker? i think as far as occupations are concerned, i don't really relate to most of them. like doctor? ughhh. yea. and sometimes, i wanna be a cartoonist, an engineer, an architect, a program designer, a graphics designer, an author, newspaper journalist...the list nv ends. but all these are just my interest. they aren't really what i want to be doing for a living. i mean, u WILL run out of ideas to design graphics one day. our brains are limited.

i guess i just like to listen to ppl. help them. and just be there. that's really smth i wanna do for the rest of my life. (: and i really want to go help out in the bsc after my a's. that's if i even manage to pass my promos. LOLS

i feel so bad for kailing. haha. i think i really need to stop my suaning immediately. gonna see kailing 2mr, perhaps, to visit hadley. haha. ahhh shouzhen!! stop suaning!!

oh ya, marie wld be pleased to hear this. i spent so much brain power and time in thinking abt her blog designs that i kept wearing orange. -.- my frens noticed and i think they wonder y i wear orange like everytime. oh wells..

and jo's wasting my sms now by nt coming online. she claims that she'll get electrocuted. -_-''

meeting

woke up at 830 *yawns*

why? for the sake of jiajia. had youth anninersary meeting in church at 11, and ya, i got it wrong. it's not youth retreat, but youth anni. ahh, so had to wake up early. was so tired that i slept on the bus, and train. yea. i almost slept while walking to church, but was late already, so had to rush. haha to think i was late, met jiajia on the way up to canaan.

meeting was kinda quiet, except for meryl, anna and caijie, of coz laureen too. constantly making unnecessary noises. haha!! oh wells. jiajia's forever like that. and i was like so dead. coz i slept like so late last night after the bbq, then woke up so early. *sighs* yea. kinda sick too. mebbe coz of the haze. haha. *shrugs*

but anyways, after meeting, went to eat lunch with joselyn, anna and laureen. then jacintha, aaron, chrystabelle n deb came halfway, not together lah. but one by one. haha. yea. then after lunch went with joselyn to watch service prac. yups. lebb gonna lead worship 2mr. one new song. and yes! im gonna have the chords for 'be where u are' 2mr!! yaye! haha thanks lebb, thanks lynn, n of coz thank the writer aaron chua! (: was trying out the chords just now too. when rena msged. haha. ah wells...

after svc prac, went to help out with the bcm spring cleaning. haha coz of my cousin, audrey. she was so bored she kept finding me in the audi. haha. yea. besides, my mom was also helping out, so might as well, since my dad was coming to fetch later. haha! freeloader lols. but anyways, i helped!! lol nt that much but a lil (: after spring cleaning, played with the hamster. it was so cute!!! yea. but abit retarded, in the sense, mebbe it was tired. but i nv felt any other hamster scratching me like that. so ticklish. lols. yups.

went dinner and ntuc coz my mom needed to buy stuff. yea. but haha. hanging ard with my cousins is always so much fun (: and, i spent almost the whole day in church. haha! im starting to become more and more like a church mouse. lols. ya, i really don't mind being in church. it's like so nice. if distance weren't a prob, i think i'd be helping out in bcs everyday. hees.

after watching the svc prac, i really feel like playing the guitar for worship. but my standard is way way way way way ughhh! lols. but oh wells, God has plans for me. haha. i still can play the guitar at home. jam with myself LOLS.

zone outreach

went all the way to yio chu kang for zone outreach at jon's house. nt exactly his house but his house downstairs. so crap la. haha. oh wells. ended up, i was late, but so was some other ppl. haha. yea.

had ice breaker and games. i was like keep getting the forefeit and doing silly things like 7 wonders of the world, and chicken dance -.- kana all the forefeit for every game. like what was i doing?? LOLs.i think i haven't been myself recently. seem like i've fallen out of place. yea. maybe living in solitude for the past wk has made me go slow on everything. haha. like my life really came to a halt. yea.

and today i wasn't feeling so gd either. and i know why...coz rena chan has been hating me since last night. HAHA!! nowonder i kept sneezing!!! yea..and someone wanted to throw the guitar on me when i was sleeping. HAHA!! SO CMI!! lols ya but oh wells...at least im nt hated now. haha coz i'm nt sneezing

well, the bbq went well. i ate almost everything like raw =/ nt exactly raw but they weren't cooked thoroughly yea. so means half cooked half uncooked. haha. yea. but i didn't eat alot. don't really eat alot during bbqs. the one and only cooked item i ate was the rice and regina's satay. haha! k make that 2. yups.y i ate everything raw? was kinda like the guinea pig to test whether the food was cooked -.-

yea..but anyways, meanwhile, i was like sitting with audrey they all and ps rach. haha. talking abt crushes and all that. like they want to get married at 23! -.- that's like so young. haha i thot 25 wld be gd but think...the older u get, the more u think of and the lower ur standards are. haha *shrugs* seems like haha..oh well...think too much again..(:

yea. after that took train home. went home with my sis and jo. haha and yea. we smelt like bbq food =/ and we kinda found smth to entertain us on the way home. so it seemed like the journey was so fast. lols! yea jo. haha i think the lady sitting infront of us was staring at us lols. yea. she was trying to sleep.

and here i am, at home, trying to get my entry done and go to slumberland straight away. got a meeting to attend 2mr at 11 in church. *yawns* feel like telling jiajia to go ahead with the meeting w/o me. lols but then, it's the first meeting and we've to decide on our theme i think. yea. beats me either. youth retreat...hmmm...and jo, no more cutting pts!! haha. like finally im no longer incharge of games. i think it's really wrong to put me incharge of games. lols. erm..i think money wld be worse. but ahhh....

so NOT

today feels like a saturday.

reason being i woke up like super early, meaning 9am. yea. i was forced to~ c'mon, shouzhen wldn't wake up at 9 on a hol morning. who wld? yups. the housekeeper was scheduled to come today, so i had to wake up early else who wld open the door? haha. (: and ya, i haven't stopped sneezing since.

*sighs* did marie pass me the flu? i guess so. have this headache and tap-like nose. i wonder if i can survive thru the night. *sighs* i better not keep sneezing during the bbq later. haha. else ppl wld start obstracising me.

talking bout the bbq. i did smth real stupid this morning. i msged jon asking where his house is coz the bbq's at his house. and, he said alot of crap as usual and turned out that the rest were meeting at yck mrt at 5 too. yea and i thot only my cell was meeting there -_-'' and i also msged lynn asking the same stupid qn. ya. what am i doing huh? maybe i woke up too early, mind nt cleared yet. *sighs*

was pretty bored this morning. have been sleeping thru my mornings so i don't exactly know what to do during the morn. haha. watched cartoon network. yea. i kinda miss those morning cartoons. haha! (: and ya, marie, i really wanted to do a lil on ur blog today but my com had a slight prob. and i cldnt really use it until now. haha. so yea.

went blog hunting today. not exactly what i'd normally do. but since i have to do marie's blog, i've gotto get more ideas. haha im a perfectionist when comes to design stuff. yups and so far i've seen blogs that are like 'WOW' and some blogs which just totally turn me off. the sad thing is, i hardly see any creativity. most of them are like RIPPED~ yes rip again. *sighs*

it's so hard to get any creative juices out of my brain these days. seems like my brain's turned off permanently. oh yea. i saw one blog which totally amazed me. haha. im nt talking abt those which u click on buttons to show the blog and tag board and stuff, that's way too common already! i saw a unique one. pretty plain, but she had this thing, i wld call, a title background. yea. some sort. unique. and obviously designed by herself. haha. nice one!

yea..prob i wld dream of some nice designs and get started on. meanwhile, im still figuring out how to insert a border...hmmm....

mathc is so much more difficult than fmath. why ah????!!!

thursday

nth can be better than a gd old fashioned boring hol (:

yea, i hear so many ppl complaining their hols are so boring. i had a boring hol too. but i enjoyed it totally (: i guess it can really be called a hol when it's boring. coz that's when u feel totally relaxed. yups. esp when u haven't had a real hol since who-knows-when. yup and im so gonna miss this boring hols when sch starts cracking again.

i've decided. no more tutorials already. if alexis tan wldn't reteach summation, that wld be the end of me. haha! i'll just have to find myself a tutor or somebody or smth to teach me summation. *sighs*

finally, i decided to start working on marie's blog. haha. else it wld nv get started, period.

i think most ppl wld be so fascinated to know their own future. the future's smth that has this appealing force to make u want to know what will happen even after this minute. like when the phone rings, so many thots start flooding ur mind as to "who will be on the other line?" that sort of thing. haha.

as for me. i know my future's in God's hands (: hahas. yea. and i really find it so amazing to have this God who knows my future and everything. He's like my personal planner for my entire life. He has already planned it all out for me. haha all i gotta do is trust in Him coz He knows my needs and wants. (:

yea. sometimes, things can get a lil creepy. haha. like when i wanna know smth..eg: "is this guy the one for me?" haha! example! yea. then i'll ask God to give me some hints. and ya, truth is, i get disappointed sometimes. but oh wells. i know God has "THE ONE" ready for me. (: haha! yea. sometimes, i just don't want to take chances. sometimes im just scared that 'the one' God has prepared for me is not 'the one' im expecting. haha so i'm taking my chances. lols. which in fact, i shldn't be (: so that's just smth i had a lil fun with haha!! (:

i wanted a break, i asked God for a break, now i have it. i just feel smth's not right. maybe im missing u too much.

BANG

back to update. i realized i missed out ALOT of stuff when i blogged this afternoon. so much for cutting short my entries.

yea. then again this nostalgic feeling keeps coming back. i miss my ex-classmates BIG TIME. nt that i don't keep in contact with them, but ya, it's like everytime i talk to them i just miss them even more. yups. tt's prob why i don't call ppl up. yea. rmb the last time i talked to an ex-classmate on the phone, it was until after 1hr or more then i hung up. it's not long, in fact i wanted to talk to her even longer. haha. yea. thank God for msn messenger. i get to talk to my frens like everyday. (: haha and some guy said that he cldn't talk online anymore coz he's imperfect and needs to self-improve. haha! like that, bill gates wld be so poor coz no one wld use msn messenger. i wonder who said that?? HAHA!! ok..im mean lols im so sorry...

i miss 4/5 alot. haha. n i miss my dear fren, esther, who's like enjoying her time over at melbourne..*sighs* i wanna go to aus!!! *wails* haha to think of it, i was pretty scared when i imagined going overseas alone, but now that i've seen esther going aus, i think that travelling is so much fun! lols of coz i wldn't mind travelling when i have that kind of money. yea. and go to an overseas uni to study perhaps? nah. granny wants me to go nus. haha.

yea. that's another short entry. and if ur reading this, just to let u know that I MISS U!! hahaha that applies to all who's reading this LOLS!

i love choc!!

yea. and u prob will go "yeah right~"

been eating choc everyday. nt that i want to get another rash attack but ya, im so bored!! haha!! i just want to eat and eat somemore. guess that's what everyone else wld prob do when they're at home and have nth to do. lol. yea. and guess what? i realized that so much choc at home has expired!!! all that choc gone to waste. *sighs* but yea. i warned u guys nt to give me choc. look. all ur money gone into the trashcan. haha. =/

well. my math tutorials are almost done. leaving the summation chpts to complete. *sighs* i need someone to teach me summation. haha. all rights. nt that i don't know how to do. but for some reasons, i just don't understand word problems these days. *sighs* and physics? HAHA. i realized im doing my tutorial after taking the test. -_-'' lol. yea. but after this hols and another wk of orientation, lects are so gonna start. and when the real timetable comes out, that's when my ponning habit has to go. yea. it has gotta go. no more monkey see, monkey do. LOLS!!

all rights. u want a long entry? i'll give u a long entry. but for the sake of my nice blog design, long entries make the whole thing look so =/ yeaahh..so i gotto keep it short. until i design another nicer blog skin (: yea and that wld have to be after i stop laughing at marie's blueprints. LOLS

oh yeah!~

feel guilty for nt going for my final og outing. *sobs* yea. and if ashley sees this she'll prob say smth like "yeah u shld!" haha!! im just jk...yups.

well did my tutorials today. and i didn't stay home to just finish my hw. yea. i ain't that studious. just wanted a time off from everything else. needed to rest badly too. so i guess i won't be going out much this hols. except for the meeting on fri and sat (: yea. other than that i'll prob be lying at home, doing my own stuff haha!

ahh yes..i regretted nt keeping my fingers to myself and ended up playing the guitar for like an hour or 2. *sighs* ahh!!! shld have known not to play. *sighs* and my fingers are like so painful now. no they aren't rotting. no skin peeling. just painful. yea. at least, it's painful only when i play the guitar. *sighs* shld have known. now i can't play for a wk. *wails*

guess i'm done thinking and i prob shld be able to give aaron an ans on sunday. yea.

3 tutorials down. 6 more to go.

missing you

i ain't love sick
i ain't obsessed
just a feeling of nostalgia
running inside of me
a weird feeling
that i can't figure out
like smth's missing from my life
a part of me gone
blown away by the wind
and landed in some part of the universe
where i can't find
missed the times we talked
even it was just a one-word sms
gd enough to let me know u cared
ur voice was able to calm me down
a smile wld set all things in place
i ain't love sick
i say it again
listening to the song u wrote
over and over again
ur voice so clear and so sharp
it just lingers in my mind
just missing ur presence
guess nth will ever be the same again
maybe i changed everything
the mood swings
my mind that ran wild
all the thoughts that were crazy
shldn't have doubted
in the first place
shld have trusted u
like a friend wld do
settle for mediocrity
like i always do
dont worry i ain't love sick

p/s: in case ur wondering, whatever i wrote came from inspiration. purely imaginative. yea. sorry for any coincidence caused.

allright!!

yea. this time it's gonna be short.

been receiving complains that my blog entries are too lengthy. but yea. it's nt meant to be read la for some reasons. haha but anyways, for those ppl who wants to read. haha. then u'll have to bear with my lengthness. for one, i hardly use short forms. yea.

all right then. i'll try to shorten my entries from now on. although i really like to blog long entries. haha yea. long entries also show that my days are oh-so-eventful. lols hardly have a boring day these days. even if it's like super boring or what, there's bound to be smth to blog abt. haha.

stayed at home. didn't go for og outing at sentosa. i needed that rest so badly. haha woke up 11. =P yea. rena, marie and joan going out 2mr to shop. yea. im kinda allergic to that word right now coz i ain't got no money. *nods head*

still deciding. guess i shld just focus on managing what i have right now. meaning think of what to do during the youth retreat. pray that the meeting on sat will lead us somewhere.

oh ya.jo passed me her flu -.- but thank God for the hot weather so from afternoon onwards, i wasn't exactly sneezing all the way. haha so much for calling me a tap hur?

9 tutorials to do. 9 more to go.

so tired. so tired.

been running to and fro form church for the past 3 days. yea. not exactly running but just been going church v often this wk. yups. coz of the evangelism seminar thing. that all ldrs have to attend. yea. haha. ah well...i'll be going to church v frequently this yr, with all the evangelism stuff coming on, gd friday? easter sunday? yea. and many outreaches and welcome parties. yea. camps and retreats. aaahhhh..

i wasn't that busy initially, but now with all the events i've said, seems that i'm pretty bz afterall. yea. *sighs* i'm such a gd slacker. lols. with so much on my hands, i still feel so slack as tho i've nth to do, but in actual fact, i've so much to do. *sighs* yea. prob coz i've been telling ppl "oh im v free" haha coz by default i'm free, but with all the events coming up, i'm nt that free. yea..i've gotto get those kind of planner to list all the stuff i have to do. haha like carry a notice board with me whereever i go.

today, i had a taste of what cell life wld be when deb's not ard and when i have to lead a cell. i admit, i was scared at first. yea. but things got better. had jo to help out (: yea. like ice breaker and all that, played bingo. haha my fave game. the game i'd played after my prelims lols and which i got hated by rena for. haha!! (: yea. the gd times we had in 4/5 (: miss 4/5 loads. yea. then word. haha. i had no idea how the words came out. prob by God's grace (: yea. but thank God for george too. haha at least he was there to help out (: yea. else it'd be total crash and burn. nt in that sense but ya, kinda like it.

had 3+9 training today by cecelia. b4 that had to meet aaron. yea. turned out that george gave my name for vocals. like what?? vocals?? me?? haha c'mon. i can talk but singing, haha i need a throat transplant first. yea. all the phlegm and whatever i do not want to know is clogging up my throat already. haha. yea. but i guess george gave the wrong person. he always mixed up my sis and my name. i wonder y. yea.

but anyways, aaron also asked me like which part of mm i want to join. haha. if he asked me that same qn like 4 yrs ago, i'd say keyboard. my dad even wanted me to go learn from the then uncle andrew but i refused. haha coz i was too lazy. yea. but when he asked me earlier, i was like pondering over keyboard, drums, guitar, sound or media. i sound so talented right? haha!! yea. but im only a jack of all trades, master of none. then again, nt exactly all trades. haha.

i wanted to join media. but ya, he gave me a wk to think it over. i think 3 days is pretty much enough. haha. to take up 2 min ain't easy. and i've my cell to think abt too. esp if the fri cell do works out, i'll have to take the fri cell so that deb can concentrate on the sun cell alone. yeaaaaa. honestly, it totally freaked me out when deb msged to say she wasn't coming for cell last night at 1130pm. i was panicking. don't believe can ask jo haha!! and she happily ignore me. lols

so if i join mm, it wld mean, taking up 3 ministries.including usher. that's like as gd as going full time. haha act i really don't mind nt studying and going full time now. yea..but i guess, God's calling for me is smth which i don't really have the talent for and He will show His power and glory thru me. yea. act media is smth like a hobby.like what rena said, videomaking is more of a hobby, she wldn't want it as her profession. i think it's the same. but not in the profession part. so many things i love to do, but there's prob only one thing i can really serve God with. i think, i'll just see whether i can really cope with my studies and stuff, cca? hehs. if i really join band, i don't think i'll be taking up another min. yea. that's way too much already. mebbe i'll join iota. some jounalism stuff. besides, cca ain't impt now.

i'm pretty much a weirdo. haha. i like doing things which most girls don't, like math, computing, IT, engineering, designing? and i like doing things most ppl don't haha. yea. but so much i love doing, i haven't been like mastering all those. bottom-line? i'm just a big slacker. i'd prob be my profession haha (:

oh yea. i really thank God for the hols. else i'll just prob like flat and die. been so bz these few days. my brain aint' working no more. and i've gotto finish 9 tutorials. 9!! all 9 of 'em!! yea. but that's my choice. not compulsory or anything. can say i'm courting my own death or what, but yea. i have to finish all 9 of 'em haha. no more slacking shouzhen. al tho i really love to slack. haha! yea. so for the hols, i'm gonna sleep early and wake up late. watch my cartoons and slack after doing my tutorials. i'll probably be so recharged when sch reopens (: i hope.

church was crowded today. haha yea. but audrey came to find me. surprisingly, since she's always ard cherylynn and serene. yea i know my cousin's cliques. lols. yea. then she was like so funny. kept making me laugh. i think i laughed way too much. the area between my ribcage and stomach hurts so badly. haha but seriously. which part of my body ain't working well? everything is like so up-side-down. haha. im like a sick patient like that. except i don't have to be hospitalised.

haha my cousin almost made me puke blood again. haha. she failed her amath test, having me teaching her like, ok, nt that frequent. but ya. all the blood vomitted, haha oh wells. my blood's gone to waste. nowonder i felt like i was dying just now. haha!! yea. but honestly, i just feel my future's so bleak. like i can't see anything in my future. haha. sometimes i try to imagine, but the imagination just stops at that black space. yea. if i'm the only one who's feeling that way, im gonna feel really scared already. lols

hardened and peeling

eeeeeeeeee!! haha nah.this time it's not that jia jia didn't bathe or what. haha. coz been playing guitar like everyday after sch, so my fingers on my left hand have hardened so badly and they're peeling!! ok..coz i found the hardened skin so irritating, i went to peel it. haha yea. sad. now i can't play the guitar so often anymore. *sighs*

seems like playing the guitar's so addictive. i rmb last time when i learned electone, i wasn't so addicted to playing it everyday. more of a chore than a hobby. yea. i think it's really fun to learn smth on ur own, of ur own will. ur interest will make u wanna learn more. hahas. yea. just like web designing. learning on ur own really helps alot. u get to discover many things and u feel that sense of achievement. hahas! yea. i kinda feel that sense of achievement alot. coz so many things i learn on my own. heees...

went for the evangelism seminar again this afternoon. only lem and sam came (frm sun cell). was so tired. *yawns* i was doing fmb tutorial in the morning while watching kids central and disney ch. lols so dead. got 9 tutorials in all to complete. shouzhen wake up. there's not much time left for u to slack. better finish all my tutorials b4 sch reopens. then i can slack peacefully again when there's orientation and when the teachers reteach the subjs.all i know is alexis tan WONT' reteach fma again. that's like ap gp gone, binomial gone, summation gone. hahas. what left? lols self study again. *sighs*

after church, went home with jia jia and jia wen. lol i think it's so fun to call them by chi name.hahas.yups. then met win when lebbillie was buying a drink. haha. ya, but by then i was also so tired. didn't really talk much. the lau sisters were also going off... hehs. someone going to rod liao lo...must celebrate! lols! (:

after mac, met brian and jon on the way to mrt. yea. then they were suaning laureen all the way. hahas. at least until they reached raffles place. whether or nt they suaned her until sembawang, i don't know, but apparently, it's so obvious they wld. hahas. ya. so tired to suan them back in the train also. haha usually i'll just say smth but today was v tired. i don't know why too. haha. yea. but i'm happy (: i'm pretty much a happy person lols(:

most prob playing guitar again 2mr. haha think the last time during cell, i played way too fast. haha i found out when i was practising. the slow song went too fast haha!! like tempo=130 or smth. too fast. yea. must learn to slow down. guess coz the music sounds nicer when the song's fast. yea. coz of the string. haha i love metal string (: nylon's for noobs lols. but they're great to practise with.

gonna miss monkey for another wk. lols thank God for photos (:

flatted batt

yea. my batt's gone flat. gonna sleep immediately after i've blogged and done qt. *yawns*

today was a super short day. shorter than any day i've ever had in sa. yea. coz of sterling lects, teachers' meeting, j2s' block test, ya. wadeva reasons they gave, it was a halfday, more likely a no-lecture day. assembly was BORING. some talk abt asthma? boring. and we thot the sterling lect wld be interesting. if the aircon weren't so cold, and if i weren't so tired, i wld have paid attention even tho the lecturer was so boring. yea. coz it was abt the architecture of buildings. interesting to me, but ya. i was so SLEEPY after that boring assembly. totally lost interest.

yups. another thing was that i was happy when i found out monkey was also having the lect in the audi, but they had SEATING PLANS!! *arghs* and his class was like few classes behind mine. s31 had to sit infront *sighs* nowonder i was so bored out during the lect lols

tutorials were kinda cancelled for the rest of the day. lectures too. yea. coz most of the teachers have done their teaching for 1st 3 months. all but fmb. WHY?! had to go lt4 to copy 2 examples and almost fell into deep sleep in front of the teacher. yea. and i think she can't be bothered with us already. all she does during lects is to scold for almost half of the lesson. think she's given up on us. yea. i wonder what alexis tan wld do to me when i go back for fma tutorial on monday. *ponders* will there even be lessons? haha

sch ended at 11++ went home ard 12. yea. came home and slacked. watched my cartoons (: yea. and then went to church for the evangelism seminar. supposed to meet the cell for dinner, but only lem and jo turned up. haha. not to mention my sis. deb was having her meeting for 2mr's trip. yea. so the 4 of us went mac for dinner. lem was so quiet and jo wanted to make him speak, but he wldn't. yea. jo bought the creative zen mp3 player too. but she didn't even unwrap it -_- yea. i think i'll only get to feel it either 2mr or sun. yea. my belated birthday present. hahas!!

i've got to stop sleeping during lects. the habit is getting to me. beginning to fall asleep during sermons now. *sighs* now that's a big prob. yups. was like so xin ku in the audi just now, luckily jo kept talking to me. i think she somehow was on the verge of falling asleep too. haha yea. but didn't talk like throughout the seminar. we did listen and copied notes. except that we missed out a few jokes here and there but doesn't really matter since they were in dialects and they make no sense to us. haha

so tired. yeayea. after the seminar, got the donation card from melvin. brian and jon were like 'ali-a-boy!' WADEVA LAH! haha but i was too sleepy to argue back. i just shouted "i want my card" and went home haha!! too sleepy already. i hope so badly my hair wld grow longer. please grow!! haha. even win refuses to go watch movie with me in case ppl think he's gay -__- ahhhhhhh!!!!! im gonna get u for this!!!!! hahahaha!!! i wanna watch son of the mask. or wadeva is it called?the mask one..lol

im so hungry and dying now haha but i just wanna sleep.

sad.

haha ok. i ain't exactly sad. just sad la. haha!

what happened today was i skipped phy prac. yea. but mr fong just played some games. yea. so i didn't miss anything. in the sense, didn't miss anything. haha yea. then went for the rest of the lessons for the day, except gp. my class mass ponned gp and went to cine to watch a movie. yea. we ended up watching robots. haha. but robots was cute!! haha it was funny. weiping was like laughing throughout the whole movie as if the whole theatre was hers haha!! ya. but the movie was funny. i wldn't mind catching it again. lols.

today, no road accidents or anything. haha. i was really careful when crossing the road this time. hehs. once bitten twice shy. haha.

after the show, went taka, mos burger to eat. yes. taka. i was at orchard the whole time. and why didn't i see monkey?!?!?!?! so sad lah. after i boarded the train and ard commonwealth there, i was so sad la. haha and since jo, weiping and even rena saw him at orchard so many times, esp jo, why didn't i see him?? *sighs* ya la. no fate. like wad marie said, you yuan wu fen.

haha oh ya. in sch, lsn folded paper cranes, again. and this time i think everyone in sa thinks we are retarded la!lols we have been sitting at the same table in the cafe, folding paper cranes for a wk already and today, rena and marie were even singing sesame street songs so loudy!! haha!! i think anita and i got no face le. lols!! oh ya. esp ytd, rena chan was so lsn la! haha so cmi...tsk...haha. weiquan also saw us folding paper cranes then he was so funny. yea. we have big hearts (: oh ya, the reason we were like stared at coz we sat at the same spot the whole wk for almost the whole day. haha so u get it. we didn't attend lessons.lols. but not me k!it's marie and anita! haha!!

hehs. for each crane we folded, we wrote our wishes inside, yea. but i'm not one who will believe in this kind of thing, but they were having so much fun, i decided to join in too haha!!yups.i think i wrote a couple of wishes and like almost all came true today!!!lol so happy. i think left 2 wishes to fulfil.hehs.i wanna wish more too.but the paper is all with rena. yea. and im pretty much too lazy to buy some for myself. hehs. (:

*sighs* i've to blame myself for this. coz i haven't been attending my lects and tuts,i'm so left behind.gotta catch up during the hols already, else i've gotto attend the make up lessons. yea. fma - i've got 3 tutorials, fmb - 2 tutorials, phy - 2 tutorials hahas thank God i don't have hw for comp. lols! yea..i'm so far behind now. i totally skipped the whole summation lecture. ya. and imagine this, joel is asking me phy qn now. kinematics. *sighs* wrong person to ask. haha i sleep during my lects.

2mr's the sterling lects. *sighs* the whole of arts fac dont have to come 2mr. sad. and marie won't be going coz anita and rena's not going..and i'm abandoned!! thing is that i'm so afraid there'll be a repeat of what happened on o's results release haha!! 3 ppl from S31. lols that will be so sad. haha!!

haha!! the weiquan and shouzhen help fund. pls donate (: money donated will contribute to our own reserve in splurging for our own need.haha!!and we've decided to let marie perform to earn the cash.LOL

wow.

shouzhen. u rawk. haha

i went for every lesson today. almost skipped comp lecture coz the teacher was late. she thot our lessons starts at 945, but started earlier. so we were rotting at the gallery. wanted to play bball initially but there wasn't any in the storerm and mr lam said cldn't borrow coz of j2s' block test. yea.sad.ahaha neways, i saw a carrot playing soccer. lols

after sch, didn't go for band. coz anita and marie didn't go. rena wanted to go queensway to look at shoes. yea. but we ended up in anchorpt eating kfc. haha. *ouch* i feel so broke now. yups. after that went to walk ard. and guess who we saw?? ben yeo and ezann lee. haha! yea. then we went to take photo with them, marie, anita and rena let them sign on their econs notes, and where do they sign for me?? i don't take econs. so just gave them the orientation file. yea. the signatures all there. haha *sighs* can't bring it to sch. else will get stolen. yea. but who wants a dirty old file. =/

gotto copy jeremy's notes l8r on. yups. and lsn. pls stop criticising monkey. he's a v nice person who didn't criticise my blog. instead he said my blog was nice and simple!!! yea. not like one, say the font too small, another one say too white, another one ie got prob. -.- so cmi...

oh ya. on the way home, i almost got killed. when crossing the road, this motorbike crossed my path. kinda just flew past me like only a few cm away. thank God i just took one step and stopped there. haha. surprisingly, my heart didn't stop and leave me lying on the road. yea. i just carried on to cross the road after that. haha!! but really thank God. if i even inched a lil, i'd probably be lying on the hosp bed by now. (: yea. then again, if it's not time for me to go yet, i won't go. and i know it's not time yet. (: im gonna be oh so careful when crossing at the bend the nx time. haha.

computing

im rotting again. this time during comp lesson. so crap la. *sighs* but besides comp, i can't and don't want to take any other subjs. unless it's hist. but then i can't get my 4As for a lvl. lols.

i love my blog. haha the design is so nice!! simple and plain (: hehs. simple and plain. heard that?? hahas. yea. going home to increase the font size too and do a lil more adjustments. that is after i decide to go for band after sch today, or attend j1s farewell party at sfc. yea. *sighs* i know not where to go. haha but after gp, gonna teach anita math. yea.

love my blog skin. of coz. coz i did it myself :D

be afraid. be very afraid.

man. I RAWK. totally. hahas!!

i finally managed to do up my blog. and it looks so nice!!! yea. it looks totally awesome to me. i like it plain and simple and nice! yes! haha yea. u ppl may not like it, hate it, wadeva. dont like it? don't read lah! hahas. yea. can't see? enlarge ur view font. i like small words. trains ur eyes. hahas!! (: thank God for wisdom man. lols i love my blogggg

YES i DIDN'T rip it. i designed it myself using dreamweaver. besides, such a simple design, ripping it wld be a total humiliation. hahas!!!! oh no..i can't sleep..lols

bejeweled

haha sch was boring today. rena and marie went to watch hmc, and happily abandoned anita and me. sch was awfully quiet today. hahas

oh yea. i went for all my lessons today!! hahas!! great achievement!! (:(: yea. all except fmb tutorial. it was the first tutorial in the morning. and besides, i didn't do my hw. might as well not go. yups. haha and i have no idea what she has been teaching during lectures too, since i haven't been attending them.hahas.but oh wells. i'll catch up myself. i don't really understand the first few chpts too. so this doesn't really make a difference. hahas.

anita just told me she wanted to buck up already. have to teach her math 2mr. yea. shouzhen, u'd better buck up too. getting more and more slack. hahas. surprisingly, i'm so slack, but i feel so bz. *sighs*

yes. it was pe. played frisbee. (:(: ran 1 rnd, 400m. hehs. i feel i cld run another rnd, but frisbee is so fun to play (: yea. tho we kept losing, but oh wells. hahas. it's so fun to play with the class. (: i guess pe is the only thing that make me wanna go sch. reason i didn't want to skip sch today was coz of pe (: hehs. and there's pe again 2mr!! *cheers*

after the pe break was gp, cldn't skip gp. i think if my class skipped gp, mrs goh wld like come looking for us. hahas. and afterall, gp's the best among all our other tutorials. yea. the most not boring one. might as well go. ya, then mrs goh asked us to do reading, i was rocking my chair while reading. and i almost happily rocked myself to sleep -.- hahas!! was so sleepy...yea. and reading!! that's the first thing i'd ever do man to make myself fall asleep.

initially, i wanted to self-declare another early dismissal at 1115, but my class wanted to attend phy lecture. so ya. went with them. during chinese break, rot with anita and linda at the band table. yups. thank God i DON'T have to face chinese anymore!!! yay!! i don't have to see the chinese teacher who asked me to get out of the class!! that is so gd (:(:

yea. i was so sleepy i almost went home at 1245 if it were not for my cg. went for phy lect. my one and only lecture on tuesday. hahs. we sat at the back and behind us were the soundproof walls. yups. man i didn't know that place was so comfy!!! nowonder s14 always come early to book seats. hahas!! yea. then, as said i was so sleepy, i just leaned against the wall and slept. hahas. was so comfy!! and the phy lecturer totally ignored that!!! he just continued talking and talking. i think there were like others who slept too but he just ignored it. ideal gases. how interesting can that be??

hahas. yea. then raymond saw me sleeping so comfortably, he followed and slept almost throughout the whole lecture. haha!! =D yups. woke up halfway and i was already so energetic. hahas. almost. except that i was so tired to climb up the hill to reach the bus stop. hahas. yea. copied jeremy's phy notes. yea. i needed fma ones too. but he needed them to do his hw anyways.

haven't been going for all my lectures except comp, that wld mean fma,fmb,phy. hahas. what a slacker! ya. so i seriously don't know what they have taught and where have the stopped and what have i done. hahas!! meaning, i don't know what's going on.lols. all rights. by order of george, i can't say "i don't know". nx time u'll hear me saying 'i have no idea' hahas!!

sch was pretty all right today. yea. oh yea. there's this hong mei enterprise in my sch now haha!!! and who's the founder?? i wonder..lols!! none other than ramona!! lols! oh ya. i'm supposed to find the song too.lols

after this might be going to design my blog. want to think of smth abstract, smth creative. but first i need to know how to publish my entry on my blog skin. hahas. oh wells.

yea. decided to stay on in computing. i mean, what else can i do? fail econs or get an A for chem, and suffer for 2 years? hahas. i rather stay on in computing. at least i'll get to see ramona. hahas. hong mei, hong mei! lol!!

har har har

after gp, i self-declared end of sch =D hahahaha

hahahhas. this is the SECOND time i'm writing this entry. coz this ie error suddenly came up when i was going to finish -.- yea. maybe i wrote too many mean things already.

hahahas okays..cut the story short. i skipped 3 math lessons today. and i feel so guilty. haha!! i haven't been attending math lects and tuts since last last wk. yea. got back my fmb test paper today. thank God i passed!! LOLS i didn't study. honest. when i did 'corrections' earlier, the qns i didn't know how to do during the test seemed so ez -.- like what was i doing all along?? haha oh wells.. the 2 tests i was so afraid to fail. ok. not exactly afraid, but expected to fail, passed. i think i'm going to fail my fma next. lols

yups. now i know not whether to cont with computing, take econs or suffer with chem. i DIDN'T want to take comp initially but mom told me to take coz 1st 3 months. and y not? since i spend almost all my life at the com. yea. ok. i admit. comp was fun at first. coz of mr yit and all that. until mrs tan(is that her name?) came to take over for algorithmns. YES. comp was so boring after then. yea. and i totally don't understand my pseudocodes and for-loops.. hahas. oh wells. i give up on comp already. it's either i totally forget abt comp, or take another subj. hahas but seriously, i hadn't thought of this until jingngei msged me this morning that kkh was coming to sa. and he'll take comp. evidently. i'd rather suffer with some other subjs than be with him for another 2 yrs..lols

yups. then went bugis with rena, anita, marie. went to eat then take post cards and neoprints. as usual. oh ya. saw anne and zhihui also. haha. i think they called my name like a million times b4 i responded. hahahas!! oh wells. ya. then bought coloured paper to fold cranes and stuff and went home.

oh ya. the last time i heard someone who wanted to take CLA, i called her a freak. yea. cherie. haha and she is taking CLA now. -.- and guess what? my best friend also wants to take CLA.-.- all right! i admit! i have freak best friends!!! oh wells..hahas. yea. if shouzhen were to ever take CLA, the sky wld drop, the heavens wld part and the earth wld tremble. hahahahahahah!!!

oh ya. jon wrote me a testimonial. haha so crap. -.- lols talking to kam now. honestly, i'm so happy when i saw that 6 for HCL. coz in my whole life. that's the only thing i can dream for. a pass in hcl. hahas. thank God! (:

yea. then again, i owe it all to God. He made me realize so many things. like what jo said. nv doubt God. even if it sounds weird, nv doubt Him. God made me bz during the whole hol not to stress myself out but to give me rest. like the whole wk, i didn't like ponder seriously on why He took away my grand aunt and stuff coz i didn't have the time to. but by the end of the wk, He just took away all my problems miraculously and ya. now i feel so free, so light. (: thank God! (: just so amazing la.

come what may

well. i've finally decided to just let God rule my life. i ain't gonna doubt Him another time. whatever may be, may be. i remember writing this statement in my opendiary: "if life throws stones at u, take it" that was the resolution i made like 1 or 2 yrs ago. yea. everyone has their ups and downs. but nt everyone has a faithful God, or someone to trust their problems to. i can trust my God because He has overcome death. my God is an awesome God. sometimes i just don't understand y with all the mircales He has done in my life, why can't i just trust in Him another time?

yea. i know my God loves me and i love Him too. He's just so amazing and awesome. but i know He doesn't love me alone, God is not a biased God, "For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. one of my favourite verses. God loves the whole world. it's only a matter of whether we believe in Him and call on Jesus. we will be saved.

even if this patch of life is so rough for me, i know i can go thru it coz i know my God will be running the race with me (:

yups. neways, today was like the official promotion day and reorganizing of cells. some cells will be multiplying that is. and some ldrs promoted. yea. i don't know if my fri cell will work out but whatever it is, pray that God's hand will be on everything (: yea. and also, the zone outreach, newcomers' welcome party, youth retreat, leaders' retreat.. *sighs* so many events, so lil time. got meetings, meetings and more meetings! trainings, trainings, and even more trainings! pray that i'll survive thru 2005

tell me

woke up today feeling sick. even tho i've been having this sinus prob since p6, it's like so much worse than that. kept sneezing and sneezing. yea. caught a cold. wonder where the flu bug came from. i always fall sick during hols. so it doesn't make a difference this time. maybe i've been sleeping too much. hehs. then again, ya, caused by some other reasons. been a long time since i last fell sick. so nt used to sneezing the whole day. maybe i might just die of flu one day and forget abt everything else.

woke up like 8 coz i cldn't stop sneezing.then watched kids central, nickelodean, disney ch, cartoon network until lunch, came online until 3 or 4pm like that and went back to sleep. woke up n ate dinner, read all my long-over-dued letters like those which the poly or navy sent me? yeaa..navy. haha! and here i am online again. and going to sleep soon. i feel so pig!! haha.yea. i kinda miss rach and win. no one to nag at me and cheer me up esp when im sick :( haha if u 2 r reading this, i miss u both!! (:(:

going to church 2mr. so much has happened during the past wk. all the emotional, physical, mental struggles. *sighs* sometimes i think to myself, i need a break. yea. but break's no gd. God told me i'd struggle even more given time to think. yea. might as well bz myself with stuff.

i can't blame anyone. i chose to cry in the rain.

nth to hold on

see the rain pour
pouring down on me
the sun nv shines
black clouds cover
the lights are gone
no guide to lead the way
just walking alone
down that alley
no hand to hold
no one to trust
nth cld be seen
nth to hear
the place
so deserted and quiet
just my footsteps
my own footsteps
echoing thru the darkness
instances of danger
flashing in my mind
halucinating death
the blood
no, not the blood
it has to go
breaking down
every inch of fear crept in
just running
into the never-ending darkness
with fear
hurt, pain and suffering
with nth worth holding on to
nth is everlasting
the world will not last
only God is eternal
just wanna see ur face
beside me
on my death bed
coz ur the only one
i can hold on to

postcards

been taking lots of postcards recently. not that i'm greedy or anything, but ya, i thot i didn't have enough postcards to write for my frens. apparently, after clearing my table, i discovered this large stack of postcards -.- even if i were to write to everyone i know, there wld be more than enough postcards. haha! so cmi. i shan't take so many postcards from now on.

ya. was clearing my stuff. then i took out all my cards and postcards to read. oh, the postcards were so super funny. haha! esp rena chan's ones. haha! almost every postcard, she wrote either 'disappointing', 'hated', 'ignored' haha or wad other rubbish. lols i almost laughed like mad reading all those funny postcards. and i dont even rmb why i was ignored or hated. haha!! ya. so funny. haha!! i love my frens (:

as said, was reading all my cards, letters and stuff. was so encouraging to read those msges. yups. it's like even tho they wrote it there and then, it like encourages u so much even now. (:

it's so ez to complain. but so hard to understand how God works.

i miss my grand aunt.

saints e festiva

went for sajc band concert at SCH in the evening. yups. was quite cool and all that. haha but i didn't have any more clothes to wear. so i wore smth formal..coz that's all i have left. yea. lols. been going out so many times this week. i was supposed to have a wk break rmb??? *sighs* 2mr will be my last day having a break. nono. saturday wld be the last day. yea. and then it's back to first period physics on monday. *shakes head* haha but thank God it'll be march hols again! (:(: yea. and that's when posting results are released. hehs.

haha oh ya. i was saying who wld apply for jae at 4am in the morning? and guess what? rena and i waited till 2am to apply jae. haha!! so cmi. and we finished at abt 3am. took 1h to apply -.- haha. and no one was online at that moment. *sighs* oh ya. we abandoned marie and went ahead to apply first hah..oops.

i woke up at 2pm today. haha!! coz i slept at 3 or 4 like that. ya. then my mom and dad went for the funeral w/o me. act i cld go coz they only came home ard 4pm. yups. but ya. nvm. at least i cld sleep. i've been losing sleep recently. nt that i can't get to slp, if shouzhen can't get to slp she wldn't be called shouzhen haha!!, but ya. nt enough time to sleep. no energy. i think ever since the december hols started last yr, my energy has been drained. ya. i'm like so energy-less now. i can even sleep for days if no one wakes me up. haha

ya. pls don't call me if u see monkey at orchard. or maybe call me la. just in case haha!! this is the 3rd time someone ever called me coz of monkey. lols!! and to think i was asleep when weiping called. haha.. cmi... and ya. rena also saw him at orchard. and ya. finally rena said he's shuai!! LOLS (: i told u!! he's so much better than ytf =p haha anyways, hope he get his choices la. lols tho i'll be sad nt to see him in sa.

the tears in the rain.

today i went to my aunt's house in the afternoon to tutor my cousin math. yups. my cousin and i are quite close coz we see each other in church too and coz of our age differences, we are closer compared to my other cousins. yups. it's like they are my own siblings like that. almost vomitted blood when teaching audrey. but oh wells. i don't teach her everyday, so i won't be losing alot of blood. hehs. then played guitar (: yea. nylon stringed. i prefer my metal stringed one. the effects are so much nicer tho..

today's wednesday. it's the fourth day i've been to my grand aunt's wake at amk. 2mr's the funeral and the cremation but i won't be going coz of the 'saints the festiva' band concert. yups. means today was the last day i'd be seeing my grand aunt. i don't know why but i just feel so sad. she already accepted Christ before she passed away and a christian funeral was done for her. it's like i can't be happier for her coz she's already with Jesus in heaven. but it just happened so sudden. just 1h i left the hospital and she was gone. no one expected her to just leave like that.

during the 4 days at the wake, i saw so many ppl. my mom's cousins, and their own cousins. it's like the whole of my mom's side turned up. my granny's siblings too. the whole extended family tree there at the wake. even tho the relationship is so distant, we are like so close. just like even tho my grand aunt was my mom's mom's sis-in-law, she's just like my own granny, even tho i only visit her like once a yr during chinese new yr. some ppl just can't imagine how an aunt can be so close to her neice, or how a grandaunt can be so close to her grand neice.

if the reason y God took away ppl from my life is due to Him giving me the gd things in life, i rather suffer myself.

JO!! U FREAK!!!

hahahaha..actually it was expected. only thing is that she kept insiting she wldn't do well and stuff. but apparently she's too smart that nth can deny the fact that she's the top scorer in her sch. lols yea. my dear fren scored 9A1s for her o's. lols ain't she a freak!??!?! to think i've been befriending a freak for 7 yrs of my life. *faints* haha! ya. but this freak fren has been a really gd fren! in fact she's also my best fren. my best friend is a freak. 0.o ok la. it applies to both best friends. HAHA!! oops i'm hated. haha!!

went sch today. only 3 ppl from my class turned up. how wonderful. haha!!ya. we went for physics tutorial. yea we went. imagine that. haha!! then got back phy test. i PASSEDD!! believe it! i passed!! lols ya. then we talked rubbish during the lesson and then took photos. haha! didn't go for fmb tutorial and comp. obviously. haha but the whole was so crappy. played bantumi in the cafe. again. and weiquan refused to take photo with me. lols

today was kinda shocking when i received my results. ya. i was literally stunned. just stared at my results slip haha! ya. i just saw my hcl grade. C6. LOLS and i was like 'wow' haha!! wow! i passed my hcl! haha!! that's like so impossible. i didn't have any expectations for this time. unlike when i got back my cl2. i thot i'd get b3. then like so surprising to get an A2. ya. it's a total different feeling from last time. altho i wanted to cry so badly la haha! coz like i didn't expect the results. esp when i failed my hist prelims and get an A for my comb humanities. like how la? but really thank God! (: although my results weren't like what my teachers expected but ya. i'm so happy with it. i'm like so super happy la. lols (: even tho it's not really that gd. unlike someone who got 9A1s. haha!! i just have to rub that in. haha!!


yups. then later, all of lsn can get into sa except jinling again, and rena if she doesn't want to appeal...yups. kinda happy. but sad, coz rena's not sure where she wants to go either. *shakes head* yups. but anyways, have to discuss with lsn again the option form thing and the schs and stuff. must rem to apply for schs during this wk. else i can forget abt going to sa haha!!

after results, went china town with marie and rena to get marie's shoes at og. then we ate kfc. cheese fries!!! yea. called mom, and others, like george and ps rachel..yups. then later william called to ask my results. haha! was shocked to see his name appear in the phone but ya. thanks alot wil! and i don't want any bamboo shoots on sunday!! (:

then later went home late, so had to rush down to my grand aunt's wake again. i think i'll have to like go down every night until thurs. to think i have the whole wk off.. yet im so bz again. *sighs* but thank God i'm having the full day off 2mr..won't be going to the wake until like late evening. yups. then wed going to my cousin's house to tutor her math. haha. yups. i'm like so free right? but actually i'm not. haha!! i don't know why i'm busying myself with things i'm not supposed to be busy with.

having a v bad sorethroat now *shakes head*

yups. i'm like so confused now. *sighs*